Releasing the Fire

During the months of July and August, I'd had trouble sleeping. I'd also been feeling anxious and as though my nerves had been fried. My appetite increased in the evening and I couldn't sleep unless I put myself in a food coma. It was distressing and I couldn't figure out how to change it. Luckily I was exercising a lot so I had minimal weight gain. I had a feeling my job was giving me this stress and it was interfering with my ability to function. So I made an acupuncture appointment. I couldn't handle things on my own and I didn't know what to do anymore.

The treatment went well. During our interview, the acupuncturist suggested meditation. She acknowledged, though, that sometimes an active mind makes it difficult for a person to settle down enough for meditation. I was having extreme difficulty even sitting still in my chair let alone being able to quiet my mind, so I was thankful she recognized this. Nonetheless, she gave me an exercise that not only helped calm my mind but also created a soft, mental shield around myself that would help block me from energy-sucking circumstances/people. Nifty.

Every acupuncturist is different and this one was much more of a nurturer than the last two I've seen. All are excellent, but I appreciated being able to talk more about how I was feeling and have some healing conversation about my life. This one also put what felt like two-dozen needles in me. They were painless, though. Shortly after she left, I became amused. Then I felt a bubbling sensation work itself up from my midsection and come out as uncontrollable laughter. I kept my mouth closed out of fear I would disturb other treatments going on in the rooms next door, but I nonetheless laughed inexplicably for a couple minutes. Then it slowly faded away and I was left in a very peaceful state. When the acupuncturist returned, she asked me if I had felt any sensations. I mentioned the laughter and she said, "Ah, good. That means you had an excess of fire." I looked this up later and discovered that all the symptons I'd been having aligned with this "excess of fire" idea. From what I understand, fire is an energy that travels upward in the body. When a person has too much fire in her system, she experiences insomnia, worry, and anxiety. Appetite also increases because food pushes the energy downward. Hence, in an attempt to calm myself down when it was time to sleep, my body signaled that I was hungry...which explained the necessity of a food coma before bed. Another symptom of excess fire is laughter. I wrote to a friend earlier that while I was having so much anxiety and I couldn't sleep, I was somehow laughing all the time. It was confusingly contradictory - my life was unpleasantly stressful and yet I found so many reasons to be joyful. It turns out that laughter is one way to release fire energy. Interesting.

The treatment helped, but about a week later I felt the change in seasons as Tucson shifted into fall. I felt it last year, too. It's still 90-some degrees here, but I can tell when the energy slows down...because I slow down with it. I'm doing much better as a result. My appetite is normal again and I'm sleeping better. Unfortunately, I am also laughing less. I still laugh, but it's not as often and it doesn't carry as much. I guess I have to take the good with the bad...and it is nice to be normal again.