Unconventional Inspiration: Bryan & Debi

Bryan and Debi are two guests at the hostel. They're biking around the continent and stretching the dollar as they go. They find any opportunity to reduce costs and see the country, and they've offered me some great direction. There's a photo of them below:

Some resources they pointed me to were caretaker.org. For a subscription of $30/year, you can find opportunities to live at a home, ranch, inn, or other living center in exchange for work (similar to what I'm doing now at the hostel). Some places will even offer you a salary, and there are locations to choose from all over the world.

They also suggested I read Your Money or Your Life: 9 Steps to Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence.  I just picked it up at the library today and I'm very excited to read it, because it has my favorite word: independence.

Here is Debi and Bryan's blog thrubike.net. If you're interested in checking it out, look for their Tucson post...there's a photo of me on there!

Some Favorite Roadrunner Guests

The hostel has a fun community atmosphere: many people (both staff and travelers) eat, cook, and socialize together. Right now I'm enjoying the flow of new people during the busy season, and I make new friends almost every day. Some of those friendships last only for a day (because people leave) and some last longer. Let me introduce you to some of them:


Marta
Marta is a cake-decorator from Buffalo, NY. When the bakery where she worked closed, she took off for Tucson. She's my age and very athletic: she cycles, lifts, runs...probably pushes boulders in her spare time. She's one of the better friends I've made here. Marta wouldn't stand still long enough for me to take a photo of her, though, so it's a little blurry...but she's standing next to the chocolate cake she made for a coworker's birthday. 

Todd

Todd was here for the gem show as a non-gem vendor. He travels around the country selling sunglasses. I stopped by his tent and he helped me pick out a cool pair...and then we commenced topractice our modeling skills. 

Todd also writes and was in the film industry for a while. He's a pretty chill guy, but quick-witted, too...he can give me a run for my money sometimes. Sometimes.


Egyptian Military Parachuters
These guys were just fun. They were in Tucson for training, because we have a military base here. Only a few spoke English. I managed to catch one of them (Elsaid was his name) near the end of his praying and asked him to read some of the Quran. He didn't speak English at all, so there was a lot of gesturing. I've never seen the holy book up close before and I wanted to hear the correlation between the text and the words. He was more than happy to show me and even pulled up some online translations later. From left to right, we have: Elsaid, Monsour (Mano), Sabry, Morhtar, and Hassan.

Mano teased me about my feet and how small they were, so we had a running joke about shoe sizes. I'm holding up my hand for size 3 and he for size 5. 

Goran
Goran was also here for the gem show - he's a geologist. He's from Serbia, but moved to Vancouver to pursue his dream. He's soft-spoken, tranquil, and one of the sweetest men you will ever talk to. 

He would make these frappachino drinks in the kitchen all the time. He offered me one a few times, but it always at night and I didn't want to be wide awake on caffeine right before bed. I liked to watch him make them, though...frothers are the coolest gadgets!

Dan
Dan, in her own words, is "French-educated, Vietnamese-born, a Canadian and Dutch citizen, raised in New York City." She is one of the most fantastic people I've met. She's animated, talkative, very responsive to your thoughts, and funny. I enjoyed being around her because she made me laugh all the time. Dan was also at the hostel for the gem show; she is a dealer and works with only rubies, sapphires, and emeralds. She lives in Holland right now, but doesn't care for the country much. In her spare time, she's a farmer on Farmville and takes great pride in planting crops and caring for her animals. I love this woman so much, lol. (Photo courtesy of Facebook)

Spirituality and Sacrilege

The Healing Power of Tucson

Tucson is a spiritual place. Metaphysics, astrology, and "alternative" beliefs are prevalent: in the economy (businesses), on the streets, and in conversation. Fourth avenue has it's share of ecletic stores, but I'm finding metaphysics and alternative healing shops all over the place. People here also talk about "energy" and "healing" much more than in Wisconsin. It could just be the communities I'm a part of, too. I mean, I work at a hostel and we attract alternative and hippy people. I also go to yoga regularly, so I hear Buddist beliefs, "connecting to the earth," or "sensing the energy" several times a week.

This spiritual culture begins to make sense to me as I learn more about the city. I have a theory that the spirituality is very connected to Tucson's environment. The city is surrounded by mountains, the desert, and oases, and these extremes of being both barren and plentiful seem to be holy in some ways...like people can spiritually cleanse and revitalize themselves. The people therefore connect to nature more and revere "energy." It also makes sense to me that the world's largest gem, mineral, and fossil show would be here: Tucson is full of gems and minerals from the mountains, and people believe these stones have healing powers. I met someone who spent an afternoon meditating on copper in order to get it's energy.

Religion in the Culture

I also see Catholic symbols everywhere, but they seem to act as cultural items more than holy ones, and I have mixed feelings about this. Men and women, for instance, wear rosaries around their necks, and this offended me when I first saw it. Rosaries are not jewelry and I was taught that wearing them like a necklace was one of the most demeaning ways to display it. Yet many people do it here.

I also walked into a store the other day and saw bracelets of the Virgin Mary/Our Lady of Guadelupe, rosaries, and crucifixes on display. I thought it was cool until I noticed the high volume of skeleton images around the place for Day of the Dead, as though the dead were revered as much as or more than holy figures. There were other spiritual items in there, too, but the place had a punk rock feeling to it. On one hand, it all felt so demeaning. On the other, it was cool to see Catholic items displayed so openly. I didn't see that much in Wisconsin.

Here's example of Catholicism infused with the culture:

I found a crucifix pressed into a sidewalk outside the hostel. Like much of the spiritual and religious beliefs here, I didn't know what to make of it...whether to find it cool or offensive.

(Note: After further examination, I decided that the sidewalk crucifix was actually a positive symbol for public display. Very cool.)

Work Test

Ever since I entered the working world, I noticed that every day is a test. There is no "practice" - you either do it or you don't; you either pass or you fail. I think of it like a checklist with pass and fail boxes next to each item. At every shift, I hope that most of my boxes are checked "pass," though there will be a few "fails."

After my first week at the restaurant, one of the owners - whom we'll call Z - thought I had too many "fails." Just when I was starting to feel comfortable with how the restaurant flowed, the manager came up to me on the first day of my second week and told me I needed to step up. He said I needed to be more aggressive and that "maybe the restaurant business isn't for everyone." He was completely right about me not being aggressive enough, however I was hoping for a shot to learn the job a little better (more than one week). I mean, they knew when they hired me that I had no restaurant experience. The owner Z wanted me out anyway. The manager told me that he and another owner wanted to give me a second week to improve and feel more comfortable. Unfortunately, comfortable was the last thing I felt at that moment and I think I performed worse for the first two hours of my shift.

Anyway, I got another week. During one of my shifts, Z was considerate enough to tell me this, and that I was almost fired. Lovely person that Z. 

During this "test" week, I covered the Valentine's Day shift. All the owners were on the floor, including Z. I felt like this night was my pass/fail test for keeping my job, and it was easily the busiest night I've ever experienced. The good thing is, though, that I rock busy nights. Empty tables are so few that we just sit people whenever one opens - there's almost no thinking about server sections and double-seating. Busy means get the customers seated wherever and make them happy. I made pointed attempts to be more out-going and talkative whenever Z was nearby. I knew she was watching me. 

I made a few mistakes that night, but all in all I did pretty well: I took control of different situations and made my own judgement calls, instead of hanging back and watching everyone else. So I think I still have a job, but we'll find out at the end of the week. 

Honestly, I really enjoy my restaurant job. It has a young, trendy feel to it. They play pop and rock music like Avril Lavigne, John Mayer, Jason Mraz, and Maroon 5. Most of the people who work there are in their 20s and 30s. The sad thing is, my job isn't sustainable for me because the pay is so low and the hours are so few. I'm having fun (for the first time since being in the working world), but I make only just enough to live on. In other words, the only thing I'm giving myself right now is extra time, because I'm not even able to save money. My life is undergoing more review.

Live Your Life, Not Someone Else's

Have you heard this statement? As strange as it sounds, I think living your own life - rather than someone else's - is difficult to do. For instance, many of us have role models, right? We think they're awesome and we want their skills and talents. The people we look up to have already carved paths for themselves and we want to follow them. Some of us think, "If I work hard enough, I can be just like them."

The sad and happy truth, though, is that we're not exactly like our role models. We have slightly different skills and interests than anyone else who has come before us, even if we have many things in common. Living my own life has been a struggle for me, personally. I have many role models and I want to do all that they do. However, as much as I want to be a world finalist dancer and focus all my time on it, I'm accepting that I have a pull toward writing and other interests, and I would rather spend a few hours of my day doing those instead. It's difficult to accept what I am not sometimes. I wonder if I'm actually giving up on my dreams. Yet when I do accept myself for what I am and what I have, I feel free. I lift my own pressures to achieve the same accomplishments as someone else. I find inspiration by doing something different and the world seems to open up before me into possibilities.

Until recently, I've failed to see that my idea of success is actually the accomplisment of someone else - his/her success is the product of his/her own experiences, talents, and skills. That person's life is only a guideline for me...it's not my end result; it's not my success. I realize that there are many things I may not be nor achieve, and I probably won't achieve what my role models have done. It's difficult to swallow that sometimes, and it makes me sad. Yet I also realize that greatness comes through creating my own path, made up of what I love, what I'm good at, and what I care to pursue. It's undefined at the moment and I don't know what it looks like, but I have a feeling that if I ride out the unknown and be persistant in what I want, my success will manifest itself brilliantly. That's the hope anyway :).

"What Do You Want To Do??"

The never-ending career question. Some people are very receptive about hearing a response that's open-ended and some people want something concrete. They want defined goals and a definite path. I'm trying my best to define my goals into something concrete, but it's difficult because there is no roadmap for my life. I'm not doing the school-internship-job thing. I'm not even having a "gap year"...my life since I graduated has been a "gap year." I specifically chose a path in which I could create my own plan, and unfortunately there isn't a guidebook for this sort of thing.

Right now, though, I'll tell you what I want to do:

- I want my writing to be my main source of income.
- I want to be independent and run my own business(es).
- I want to find a way to support myself and my interests without sacrificing time and energy to a job I hate.
- I want to help other people do the same.
- I want to teach dancing.
- I want to compete at Blackpool (world's largest dance competition).
- I want to study the body/mind without going back to a formal school setting, and then I want to teach. I really like practices in martial arts, zen, and yoga.

That's what I want to do. I want to merge all of it. However, I can't explain that in two seconds to people who ask, and it's challenging.

The questions I face now are how and in what order do I want to do everything; I want to do it all at once.

So that's where I'm at. How is that answer?

The Sushi Seater

My new job is a hostess at a sushi restaurant downtown. The restaurant experience is completely new to me, so I'm not used to the fast pace and the type of problem-solving I have to do. However, I'm finding that I really enjoy it - now that I'm getting the hang of it. I chose to apply for a restaurant job because I wanted to be on my feet more instead of sitting down all the time (something I hated about working in an office), and I definitely get to do that here...sitting doesn't really exist.


Day 1 - Learning the Ropes
The hostess training me gave me several things to think about: learn table numbers, don't double-seat the customers in the servers' sections, give them x, y, and z menus at such-and-such a time, we take care of miso soup and rice for to-go orders.
"Got it?"
"I think so."
So what does double-seating mean exactly? How do you know which tables belong to whom? What are the table numbers?!

Behind the Scenes - The Kitchen
A rush of steam filled the entrance to the kitchen. Servers and bussers bustled around with sodas and dishes and chatted animatedly. I followed the lead hostess further in and saw more servers and bussers, as well as dishwashers and cooks...all running tubs back and forth, cutting fish, shouting to one another to be heard over the utility washers and sizzling pans, stacking soy sauce containers, and preparing orders. It was like walking into a tiny city, a human beehive.

"Busy"

I also learned that my definition of busy, was not "restaurant busy." People were coming in one after the other and the tables were full. I could barely keep up with getting the table numbers straight in my head, letting alone trying to figure out sections and which server was which and who had which sections. However, the hostess who was training me looked positively bored.

"This place is dead," she said. "Thursday night will be much busier. Usually we have people lining out the door."

Day 2 - A "Busy" Day

The Family
The restaurant is owned by a Korean family: "Mama," "Papa" - her husband (I haven't met him yet), Henry, and Valerie (all names have been changed). I met Mama on my first day. She's an older woman who is revered in the restaurant. I spoke with Henry on the phone. He's nice in person (mid-30s), but his skills on the phone are terrible: he sounded irritated by me whenever we talked. Valerie is a young (also mid-30s), beautiful, dominating Korean woman. I worked with her on day two.

The family comes in - maybe a few times a week - and eats dinner together. It includes Mama, her husband, Henry and his wife and daughter, Valerie and her husband and daughter, and other people that I didn't recognize. They took table 11, a 6 seater with an extra chair on the end. Afterwards, Mama, Henry, and Valerie wish their family members good-bye and begin their rounds. They walk around with the hostesses and servers, keeping an eye on everything and helping to move things along. They look like eagles in the way they survey the floor. I could tell by watching them that they like busy. They like action and active commotion. These are not sit-down-and-relax kind of people.

Valerie
I worked with a team of people tonight at the front desk: a new hostess, Gabriela; an experienced hostess, Kim; Valerie, working as head hostess; a cashier, Laura; and a manager, Robert. Tonight is what I learned the meaning of "busy." People were lining up outside the door and all hostesses (4 of us), the cashier, and the manager (acting as both cashier and host) had their hands full.

At one point, a group of four guys came in looking to sit at the sushi bar. As soon as I was about to seat two of them, I found that someone else took their place. I brought them back to the front and they waited for the rest of their party. When all four arrived, I found another section of four and took them back. I came to front again and Valerie said firmly, "Do not seat people unless I tell you." She looked at Gabriela and I: "I need to you walk around and tell me which tables are empty and which are paying." I walked away quickly, scanning the tables.
That one is paying...table number 14, I think? ....It looks like that one is free - number 25. What the -
I had menus in my arms as a server walked by. This became a regular thing throughout the evening...but it changed between bills, menus, pens, and dishes. Your role as hostess often blended with that of another, like a busser or server.

"We need two for sushi bar, do we have two for sushi bar?" Valerie asked when I returned.
"I'll go check." She threw up her hands in exasperation.
Forty-five seconds later: "We're good at the sushi bar."
"What does that mean, 'we're good'? Are we full?"
"We have two at the sushi bar."
"Take them back," she pointed to two customers.

Gabriela and Laura both caught me later and said, "Don't let her get to you. She's tough to work with."

Things change so fast in the restaurant. One of the hostesses told me to always watch the sushi bar, because one minute seats will be open and the next they're gone...and vice versa:
"We have two singles at the sushi bar," I tell Valerie.
"We have two at the sushi bar," she says to two customers.
"No, we have two singles."
"Oh two singles..."
"No, we have two at the sushi bar!" Kim says.
"Yes, look - two just got up," adds Valerie. "She'll take you back," she motions to me.


Valerie wasn't only hard on me - she was brisk with customers, too.
"Seat them at the middle table," she told me. I took a group of three back. A wealthy-looking blonde woman with sunglasses on her head, rings on her fingers, and a drink in her hand came up to the counter and held up her hands indignantly.
"Her table was sat," Kim said to Valerie as she came over.
"You said you wanted the patio, so we gave up your table."
"I didn't...."
"You said you wanted the patio, so we gave up your table. We can put your name back on the list."
That's all I heard, but I saw them exchange a few more words and watched the woman walk away in a huff.
"She gave up her table!" Valerie said. "We have people to sit!"

I worked Day 3 with Valerie, too. She is a challenge to work with sometimes, but I just roll with it and do what she says. She does take it easy too and joke around, so she's not so bad. Still...I try to avoid her whenever possible.

At the End of the Day
It's not a bad job. It was uncomfortable at first, but I'm getting an idea of who people are and how things are run. It's like any other job: once you get into the flow of things, you get it. I'm remembering names little by little, figuring out table numbers, picking up the jargon ("Table 3 is a 4-top."), and learning a new kind of problem-solving ("We have a group of 15 coming in. You guys will have to plan out how you want to seat other groups so we get them in."). It's definitely a new experience and kind of fun once you catch on.