Yearly Review: 2017 to 2018

Wow! What a year! As usual, let's look at my goals from last year and compare to what actually happened:

Goals for 2017

1) Front splits and side splits. (Stretch goal) - Nope. This did not happen.
2) Make rondes (RON-days) that are level with my head when I kick them in my routines. Neither did this, but I need to work on it.
3) Semi-final in SOMETHING at NDCA nationals this year. (Stretch goal). We only made it as far as quarter final in novice standard; round three for pre-champ standard and novice latin, and round one for pre-champ latin.
4) Do four dance competitions (big, small, medium, whatever). Yes: People's Choice, Galaxy, Chicago Dancesport Challenge, and Devil Dancesport Invitational.
5) Dance a latin and standard routine that I'm not ashamed to post on facebook/youtube. I think I posted a latin routine from a showcase, but unfortunately, that's the only one I liked. Everything else I've danced has been painful to watch. For standard, I'm more willing to post those videos. I'm also looking forward to more videos, because I think my posture has improved by a few miles since my last competition.
6) Successfully rhinestone a standard and latin dress. Meaning, they don't look bad. Yeah, I think this one was accomplished :).
7) Design a practice dress and sew it. (Stretch goal) Ha. No way. The sewing dream has been left behind. I still have my singer (and I still love it), but I just don't have time to learn to sew. I can give it maybe a few hours on the weekend.
8) Make friends at dance competitions. Yes!!! I've made lots of new friends and it's been SO fun!!

Additional thoughts: I think this is the first year I've had solid goals that I believe are attainable. A few of them are "stretch goals" that may be a little ambitious, but they aren't impossible. My only professional goal this year is to not get fired. I need my job to support my dancing habit. I'm pretty excited about 2017. I'm hoping to be in a place I don't expect (in a good way) by this time next year.

I definitely ended up in a place I didn't expect: engaged!
My professional goal at the UA for this year is to, again, not get fired.

Plans and goals for 2018 and 2019

Ibrahim and I have already been looking ahead. He will be teaching three courses in the fall (max load), so that he can take off for the spring of 2019. A friend/colleague of his in England is organizing some kind of semester-long project. If Ibrahim can get funding, he'll make a few trips over there. If he can't, he'll work from home. He's also hoping to get some of his own research done during that time and publish some papers. So fall 2018 is going to be extremely busy for him and we probably won't be competing much. We'll already have two weddings to attend - one being our own. Also, since he has something going on in England in 2019 anyway, we're planning to compete at Blackpool that year. I am not anticipating anything miraculous, but we want to make our first attempt then. Our goal is to go twice before we're designated to senior division.

2018 Goals

1) Final at Nationals in novice standard, both NDCA and USA Dance. We've already pointed out of novice standard in USA Dance, so we're hoping to final. Either way, we have to move up.

2) Achieve more muscular definition. I've been working out at home and slowly building my home gym (which I love!) I really like all the workout "toys": dumbbells, kettlebells, resistance bands, balls, plyo boxes, etc. I enjoy strength training, especially the kind that involves more intricate coordination (combination moves). However, I feel like I've been working out and I still look like a marshmallow. I'm hoping to change that this year.

3) Perform at a charity/fundraising event. We have various charity events in Tucson and I would like to perform at one of them. A lot of professionals will do performances to get students, but I just want to put on a show! Ibrahim and I are at a level where we look like professionals to the laypeople, so I think we could pull off an entertaining performance :).

4) Get married. This seems like a non-fail goal, but I swear...the planning is so hard for me. Every time I think I have a plan, guest list, venue, date, or schedule, things change. I'm hoping things will come together.

5) Get a professional portrait taken. I would just really like one of these. I've been looking for a photographer who I think would capture the mood/image I want.

6) Make more dance friends. I feel like I can't have enough of these.

Main take-away from 2017 and hope for 2018

The message that stayed with me for half of 2017 was to really appreciate life and put myself out there to meet people. This year - as you know - I knew a young man, Nic, who died two months after we met. I knew him for such a short time and yet he left an unforgettable impression on me. He was so open and friendly; just knowing him made me feel good. After he died, I learned that he was like this with everyone and he shared his love of dance with everyone in his community. He was one of the top amateur dancers in the country and there wasn't a haughty bone in his body. I only met Nic because Ibrahim suggested going out with him and his partner; I was too shy otherwise. I nearly missed an opportunity to be graced by his life. Anyway, since his death, I decided I wanted to be like Nic. I wanted to be as open and friendly. I wanted to express love and happiness more and connect with people. Being isolated makes me unhappy, but I'm not always brave enough to step outside my box - what if people think I'm weird or don't like me? Now, I care less. When I think that my life could be taken from me at any day, I want to take advantage and spread light.

My hope for 2018 is to continue the openness and positivity. Of course, I also hope that everyone in my life stays healthy and no tragedy comes upon us.  I want to continue the adventures and I'm loving the unexpected, happy surprises that come up - I hope there are more! :)

Happy New Year, everyone!

P.S. For a photo review of 2017, check out my #BestNine2017 on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/BdWRS1VgDSy/

Losing Trust and Latin Dancing

It’s disheartening to lose trust in your coaches. You want to hold them up as knowers-of-all who will lead you successfully through the world of dance. However, at the end of the day, they are people and I think I’ve questioned all of them at one point: they’ve given me instruction that seems mechanically incorrect, or they’ve been too vague (i.e. “you need to figure it out for yourself [what I mean]), or they put you – the student – in charge of the lesson. They all have the knowledge, but occasionally a flag goes up. I’ve learned that sometimes a flag is actually a different interpretation or a quirk of the person. For instance, I have one teacher who can be so cryptic at times that her instruction causes me frustration. But then one day – after months of not seeing her - she’ll give a simple correction, and everything she said before strikes like a chain reaction: piece after piece suddenly come together and I can see a larger picture. My faith is restored.

However, I feel like Ibrahim and I are struggling with our Latin coach. We had a long conversation with her about a month ago regarding trust. This was a conversation I wanted to write about because it was particularly insightful, but I haven’t had the time. Essentially, she didn’t think we trusted her, and we didn’t. We felt like she let us do whatever we wanted and didn’t take the reigns in teaching us. She realized this was because of the teaching style imposed on her when she worked in an American chain studio: “the customer is always right” sort of deal. She was understanding now that this wasn’t what every student wanted or needed. She’s been trying a new approach ever since and it’s been helpful.

Our improvement in Latin, though, has been smaller and moving more slowly than that of our Standard, even though we have Latin lessons almost every week (we have Standard about twice a month). It’s hard to say why this is…are we physically less apt for Latin dancing? Did our trust issue with our coach put us behind? Is it our coach’s instruction? Is it because we won a few Standard events in Chicago, and consequently we have more drive to improve?

Let me just vent for a second. I’m losing interest in Latin dancing. I used to love it because I loved feeling every muscle in my body move. I love the drums in samba…they feel like a second heartbeat coursing through my body. However, my joy is not in Latin these days. It’s a struggle to practice, but I make myself do it. Lately, I’ve felt like I’ve been doing it for Ibrahim. He wants to improve and keep going. I might be going through a phase, and maybe I’ll get excited about it again once I see some progress. But it’s been a struggle. When I dance Latin, I feel like I give it a 10 (out of 10) and on video it looks like a 2.5. I don’t like the way I look. We’ve been working on three dances for the last year and a half, and I am not interested in learning the other two. I feel like we have a better chance of making some gains in Standard competitions, and I’d rather do that. I’d rather put my energy into one style and excel at it than spread my resources thin and stay in pre-champ for years. I admit that I'm also losing some faith in my Latin coach, and may become more frustrated with it if we continue taking lessons. I like her as a person and I'm willing to keep going for a few more months, but if I make an effort and don't see much improvement, I have a feeling I will want to cut it off.

But every time I bring up specialization, Ibrahim says, “Let’s get through this year’s nationals and then assess.” So that’s our plan through April.