It's almost the end of the year! I think now is a good time to see how I did in watching movies and reading books (in no particular order):
Movies:
1) Frozen
2) Maleficent - IMAX
3) The Incredibles
4) Her
5) Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
6) The Equalizer (very good!)
7) Belle
8) Big Hero 6 (good kids movie)
9) Guardians of the Galaxy (excellent)
10) The Box Trolls
11) Fed Up - documentary
12) Food, Inc. - documentary
13) Black Swan
14) The Help (very good!)
15) The Fault in Our Stars
16) Dolphin Tale 2 (Horrible - bad acting and cliche. Don't be fooled by Morgan Freeman's presence.)
17) Lucy (ok...but I wouldn't recommend it)
18) Annie
19) Alexander and the Terible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (awkward to watch - so many embarrassing moments - but cute)
20) The Grand Budapest Hotel (I enjoyed this film)
21) The 100-Foot Journey
22) Enough Said
23) Wish I Was Here (not that great...hoping for better from Zach Braff)
I've seen at least a dozen more, but I won't list them all. I've watched more movies this year than I have in the last two years combined. Maybe even the last three to four years combined.
Books:
1) Promise Land
2) Being Both - Religion
3) The Fault in Our Stars
4) Why We Get Fat and What To Do About It
5) All Your Worth
6) Freedom
7) Yes Please
8) Not That Kind of Girl
9) My Salinger Year
10) So You're Fat, Now What? (my doctor's book...I was kind of embarrassed to be reading it to be honest)
I picked up several books this year, but I didn't finish them all. They were either boring or I ran out of time. The ones listed above are those in which I made significant dents if I didn't finish them.
Conclusion: I made my goal on movies, but only got through about half the books I wanted to. Regardless, I am pleased with this. My real goal was to educated myself more and get active with cultural literature. I was surprised to learn that I can learn from movies, fiction or documentary. They give me something to talk about with other people, from superficial to deep conversations (i.e. How did you feel about the presentation? What did you think of the decision of [character]? What if something like [event in movie] were to happen, how would you deal with that? I could relate this instance to my life, how did you feel about it?). I'm not going to set a goal like this for next year, but I will try to read more fiction (there are only two in my list above).
And I will say that it's nice to have a list - makes me feel accomplished.
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Saturday, December 13, 2014
Hypercholesterolemia
When I first found out my cholesterol was sky-high, I was surprised, but I didn't mind too much. While one part of me was nervous, another part kind of enjoyed being a spectacle...abnormal, unexpected, and contradictory. I was weird and different. However, that was before I learned my "condition" wasn't going away.
I went into my cardiologist's office on Thursday, prepared to discuss my abnormal cholesterol levels and how I could eat differently to change them. I was also poised to ask him several questions about veganism and if could be maintained. We never got there. He sat down and started talking to me about my numbers. They were high, I knew that. But he said there was no way diet could influence something like what I had and that it had to be genetic. He started circling numbers...different counts of lipid particles: HDL, LDL, tryglycerides, and then their components. There were numbers for other things besides cholesterol...genes, diabetes, inflammation, liver, kidney, muscle, thyroid, and other tests (it literally said "other tests"). The whole thing was four pages long.
After he finished explaining what could have been U.S. Constitution, he went into what we should do next. He wanted to put me on statins. From what I knew of this doctor, he would not put me on medication unless he felt it was there was no other option. He told me I'd be on the medication for longer than they've been tested. He said they aren't good for pregnancy, which freaked me out. I'm not pregnant, but what if I want to be some day?? What is this going to do to me?? I've heard statins are not good for your brain because your brain needs fat/cholesterol. Am I going to have to be on statins for the rest of my life? How is it going to affect me if I have to take it for decades?
I clarified with him that this was nothing diet-influenced. No, it wasn't.
"So, it doesn't matter what I eat?"
"It always matters...you don't want to go out and eat cheeseburgers. But this is not something you can fix with diet alone."
But to me that meant it didn't matter. My cholesterol was going to be high no matter what. The doctor said that right now it isn't a problem, but down the road as plaque builds, it will be. He said I could think about the medication and that he would treat me regardless...we could work on lifestyle. He encouraged me to read the book that came with my test results, talk to people and get more opinions, read up on hypercholesterolemia, and find out about my family history.
"This isn't a death sentence."
Not for today. I was in shock and very upset. I put my sunglasses on as I left the office, because tears were coming down uncontrollably. I didn't want to concern the geriatric population in the waiting room...my new wellness peers.
I didn't do much when I got home. Except cry. And I ate a lot. I try to be conscious of my emotional eating, but this time I just didn't care. Granted, I ate a lot of fruits, vegetables, and quinoa with salsa. Then I went for a walk to the grocery store and talked to my mom. Then I cried some more. I bought dates and chocolate and binged on those at the store - didn't even wait to get home. The next day I went to work, but wasn't really present. The news could be worse, I thought. I wasn't told I had leukemia, cancer, AIDS, or some other incurable disease. But it felt like I had been. In my mind, my body received some bad information and was killing me slowly. It wouldn't happen today or tomorrow, but eventually - somewhere in middle age - it would get me. The only cure was a medication of which the effects are unknown and which could also cause more damage. It's like my body was asking me to choose: my brain/fertility or my heart. I didn't want to be a spectacle anymore.
Today is Saturday. I did talk with some people, including those who take statins. But many of them are over 50 and did not start taking them until middle age. I looked into alternative forms of care, including reaching out to a friend who is both a biochemist and acupuncturist. I respect her very much and asked what her opinion on the matter was. She said medication was the most effective - acupuncture and diet change would not do much good. I think that was the final word I needed. If alternative medicine couldn't do it, then I would have to take statins. However, I'm still scared.
I went into my cardiologist's office on Thursday, prepared to discuss my abnormal cholesterol levels and how I could eat differently to change them. I was also poised to ask him several questions about veganism and if could be maintained. We never got there. He sat down and started talking to me about my numbers. They were high, I knew that. But he said there was no way diet could influence something like what I had and that it had to be genetic. He started circling numbers...different counts of lipid particles: HDL, LDL, tryglycerides, and then their components. There were numbers for other things besides cholesterol...genes, diabetes, inflammation, liver, kidney, muscle, thyroid, and other tests (it literally said "other tests"). The whole thing was four pages long.
After he finished explaining what could have been U.S. Constitution, he went into what we should do next. He wanted to put me on statins. From what I knew of this doctor, he would not put me on medication unless he felt it was there was no other option. He told me I'd be on the medication for longer than they've been tested. He said they aren't good for pregnancy, which freaked me out. I'm not pregnant, but what if I want to be some day?? What is this going to do to me?? I've heard statins are not good for your brain because your brain needs fat/cholesterol. Am I going to have to be on statins for the rest of my life? How is it going to affect me if I have to take it for decades?
I clarified with him that this was nothing diet-influenced. No, it wasn't.
"So, it doesn't matter what I eat?"
"It always matters...you don't want to go out and eat cheeseburgers. But this is not something you can fix with diet alone."
But to me that meant it didn't matter. My cholesterol was going to be high no matter what. The doctor said that right now it isn't a problem, but down the road as plaque builds, it will be. He said I could think about the medication and that he would treat me regardless...we could work on lifestyle. He encouraged me to read the book that came with my test results, talk to people and get more opinions, read up on hypercholesterolemia, and find out about my family history.
"This isn't a death sentence."
Not for today. I was in shock and very upset. I put my sunglasses on as I left the office, because tears were coming down uncontrollably. I didn't want to concern the geriatric population in the waiting room...my new wellness peers.
I didn't do much when I got home. Except cry. And I ate a lot. I try to be conscious of my emotional eating, but this time I just didn't care. Granted, I ate a lot of fruits, vegetables, and quinoa with salsa. Then I went for a walk to the grocery store and talked to my mom. Then I cried some more. I bought dates and chocolate and binged on those at the store - didn't even wait to get home. The next day I went to work, but wasn't really present. The news could be worse, I thought. I wasn't told I had leukemia, cancer, AIDS, or some other incurable disease. But it felt like I had been. In my mind, my body received some bad information and was killing me slowly. It wouldn't happen today or tomorrow, but eventually - somewhere in middle age - it would get me. The only cure was a medication of which the effects are unknown and which could also cause more damage. It's like my body was asking me to choose: my brain/fertility or my heart. I didn't want to be a spectacle anymore.
Today is Saturday. I did talk with some people, including those who take statins. But many of them are over 50 and did not start taking them until middle age. I looked into alternative forms of care, including reaching out to a friend who is both a biochemist and acupuncturist. I respect her very much and asked what her opinion on the matter was. She said medication was the most effective - acupuncture and diet change would not do much good. I think that was the final word I needed. If alternative medicine couldn't do it, then I would have to take statins. However, I'm still scared.
Attempt to Veg
When we last left off, I was not particularly excited to limit my animal product intake: this was a principal source of my nutrition! However, truth be told, I like experimenting with food and it's one reason I try different diets and tolerate extreme eating patterns...it's me going, "I wonder how my body will react if I..." I should note that I also like to test myself to see if I can handle something (like eating cranberries without any sweetners -- which I can!! And I like them this way!), but I probably get food poisoning (gentle and severe) more often than the average person.
Anyway, I decided to give the vegan diet a try. Except it wasn't vegan. It was more of a vegetable-fruit-flaxseed-salmon-maybe an egg-and quinoa diet. My vegetable and fruit intake sky-rocketed and my animal product intake plummeted. My feelings about this diet are positive overall, but I do have some negative experiences, all of which I will discuss.
Positive:
DIGESTION. Holy Mother, my digestion is AWESOME and this is a HUGE deal to me. Food does not hang around for long. I am able to feel empty and really, I encourage you to try a plant-only diet with ground flaxseed sometime. Not for long, maybe just a few days. But it is GREAT.
I really was eating too many eggs. It's nice to take a break from my old diet.
Not Sure/Neutral:
I am lighter. I may have lost 1-2 lbs only, but I feel that my body mass has changed. My muscle mass has gotten smaller. In some ways, it feels good to be lighter. I had been feeling swollen and large for a while and now I don't feel that way. I don't feel toned, but I don't feel huge either.
Negative:
Loss of energy, strength, and motivation. In the hospital, there are eight floors and my office is on the first. I used to climb stairs taking two at a time every day during my lunch hour. I would go from bottom to top 2-3 times a day. Lately, though, I've been making it to the fourth or fifth floor and have had to take a break. Yeah. Sometimes, if I have food in me, I can do it, but it still takes way more energy than it used to. I also used to do strengthening exercises before work (push-ups, squats, etc) and now I don't have the energy. Meat and eggs let me build muscle mass and maintain it. The calories lasted longer and gave me energy. Also, I actually wanted to exercise when I ate them. Now I'd rather read. I kind of miss the drive.
For right now, I like my partial-vegan diet. I'm not married to it and will deviate as I see fit, but for right now, it's all right. Like I said in the beginning, I'm an experimenter with food, so things for me change.
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