Releasing Anger

I believe people are inherently good...but sometimes I forget it when they hurt me.     It usually isn't until later that I see two were at fault in a falling out, and it's hard to realize that it takes a broken, unpatchable relationship to learn of our flaws. It sucks to think that we have to "go through" each other like boxes of kleenex. It's difficult to see it took a person's pain, discontinued contact, and time to understand that I was wrong...and how I was wrong. And that nothing can be done to heal the gash, except maybe time.

When I moved to Arizona, I was in pain mentally. I see now, too, that I held a lot of anger. I don't quite understand where either the pain or the anger came from, but I'm sure it was a combination of my own inner workings and outside influences. Either way, today I felt as though I had let go of some anger. It came out as sadness - because I saw my past differently - but either way, it's gone.

Beating the What-If's

I can't believe it's been over a month since I've posted last. Living my life has been time- and thought-consuming. I admit that my head hasn't been entirely together either...focus = difficult. Nonetheless, I've been embarking on more self-realization adventures and research. Lately, a challenge I've had is whether or not to commit to something, because I'm afraid of what I might lose. Right before I make said commitment, my brain reacts with, "Wait! What if I want This? or That? What if I want to live in a foreign country? What if I want to be XYZ after all?!" In a few minutes, though, I'll calm myself down and remember that if I really wanted something, I would have been working toward it already. The universe would have focused my energy in that direction and things would have aligned for me. If it's not happening, it means that I'm just scared and making excuses. This is when I need to get all Nike and "just do it."