My good friend Yvette is a black woman originally from D.C. She was telling me how she used to work at a call center and would adopt an alter ego in order to sell products. She imagined she was a little white blonde girl named Stevie and - after taking on this persona - she claimed to have had significantly more sales than she would have had otherwise. I thought this was hilarious, but admitted that I couldn't do the opposite - pretend to be a black woman on the phone.
"I don't know, Amy," she said. "Sometimes you get an attitude that reminds me of my aunts."
"Really..." I said. I thought this was cool. Part of me has secretly wished I was black...or anything other than white to be honest.
"What should my name be? Something like LaToya or LaKeisha..."
"LaKeisha!"
And so it was. Yvette and I now have alter egos that we enjoy pulling out at work every once in a while - Stevie and LaKeisha - and they are great friends. They bring much laughter into the office.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Gender Roles: Ruling the World vs. Baking Cookies
An observant friend of mine mentioned that the roles of women in American society can be confusing. For instance, you find driven women who run businesses or have high-powered jobs, and yet deep down they struggle with an inner conflict - sometimes all they want to do is bake cookies. Right now I agree with this theory, because I experience it on a less extreme level. On one hand, I want to write books, travel, and change the world. Yet at the same time - in the back of my mind - I still have the dream of marrying rich and being relieved of earning money...where my only responsibility is being a good wife and a "partner in crime." And you know what? I have no shame in admitting that.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Releasing the Fire
During the months of July and August, I'd had trouble sleeping. I'd also been feeling anxious and as though my nerves had been fried. My appetite increased in the evening and I couldn't sleep unless I put myself in a food coma. It was distressing and I couldn't figure out how to change it. Luckily I was exercising a lot so I had minimal weight gain. I had a feeling my job was giving me this stress and it was interfering with my ability to function. So I made an acupuncture appointment. I couldn't handle things on my own and I didn't know what to do anymore.
The treatment went well. During our interview, the acupuncturist suggested meditation. She acknowledged, though, that sometimes an active mind makes it difficult for a person to settle down enough for meditation. I was having extreme difficulty even sitting still in my chair let alone being able to quiet my mind, so I was thankful she recognized this. Nonetheless, she gave me an exercise that not only helped calm my mind but also created a soft, mental shield around myself that would help block me from energy-sucking circumstances/people. Nifty.
Every acupuncturist is different and this one was much more of a nurturer than the last two I've seen. All are excellent, but I appreciated being able to talk more about how I was feeling and have some healing conversation about my life. This one also put what felt like two-dozen needles in me. They were painless, though. Shortly after she left, I became amused. Then I felt a bubbling sensation work itself up from my midsection and come out as uncontrollable laughter. I kept my mouth closed out of fear I would disturb other treatments going on in the rooms next door, but I nonetheless laughed inexplicably for a couple minutes. Then it slowly faded away and I was left in a very peaceful state. When the acupuncturist returned, she asked me if I had felt any sensations. I mentioned the laughter and she said, "Ah, good. That means you had an excess of fire." I looked this up later and discovered that all the symptons I'd been having aligned with this "excess of fire" idea. From what I understand, fire is an energy that travels upward in the body. When a person has too much fire in her system, she experiences insomnia, worry, and anxiety. Appetite also increases because food pushes the energy downward. Hence, in an attempt to calm myself down when it was time to sleep, my body signaled that I was hungry...which explained the necessity of a food coma before bed. Another symptom of excess fire is laughter. I wrote to a friend earlier that while I was having so much anxiety and I couldn't sleep, I was somehow laughing all the time. It was confusingly contradictory - my life was unpleasantly stressful and yet I found so many reasons to be joyful. It turns out that laughter is one way to release fire energy. Interesting.
The treatment helped, but about a week later I felt the change in seasons as Tucson shifted into fall. I felt it last year, too. It's still 90-some degrees here, but I can tell when the energy slows down...because I slow down with it. I'm doing much better as a result. My appetite is normal again and I'm sleeping better. Unfortunately, I am also laughing less. I still laugh, but it's not as often and it doesn't carry as much. I guess I have to take the good with the bad...and it is nice to be normal again.
The treatment went well. During our interview, the acupuncturist suggested meditation. She acknowledged, though, that sometimes an active mind makes it difficult for a person to settle down enough for meditation. I was having extreme difficulty even sitting still in my chair let alone being able to quiet my mind, so I was thankful she recognized this. Nonetheless, she gave me an exercise that not only helped calm my mind but also created a soft, mental shield around myself that would help block me from energy-sucking circumstances/people. Nifty.
Every acupuncturist is different and this one was much more of a nurturer than the last two I've seen. All are excellent, but I appreciated being able to talk more about how I was feeling and have some healing conversation about my life. This one also put what felt like two-dozen needles in me. They were painless, though. Shortly after she left, I became amused. Then I felt a bubbling sensation work itself up from my midsection and come out as uncontrollable laughter. I kept my mouth closed out of fear I would disturb other treatments going on in the rooms next door, but I nonetheless laughed inexplicably for a couple minutes. Then it slowly faded away and I was left in a very peaceful state. When the acupuncturist returned, she asked me if I had felt any sensations. I mentioned the laughter and she said, "Ah, good. That means you had an excess of fire." I looked this up later and discovered that all the symptons I'd been having aligned with this "excess of fire" idea. From what I understand, fire is an energy that travels upward in the body. When a person has too much fire in her system, she experiences insomnia, worry, and anxiety. Appetite also increases because food pushes the energy downward. Hence, in an attempt to calm myself down when it was time to sleep, my body signaled that I was hungry...which explained the necessity of a food coma before bed. Another symptom of excess fire is laughter. I wrote to a friend earlier that while I was having so much anxiety and I couldn't sleep, I was somehow laughing all the time. It was confusingly contradictory - my life was unpleasantly stressful and yet I found so many reasons to be joyful. It turns out that laughter is one way to release fire energy. Interesting.
The treatment helped, but about a week later I felt the change in seasons as Tucson shifted into fall. I felt it last year, too. It's still 90-some degrees here, but I can tell when the energy slows down...because I slow down with it. I'm doing much better as a result. My appetite is normal again and I'm sleeping better. Unfortunately, I am also laughing less. I still laugh, but it's not as often and it doesn't carry as much. I guess I have to take the good with the bad...and it is nice to be normal again.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Aura
I was waiting at the bus stop and looked up to see if it was coming. Instead I saw a small, young Indian woman (about my age) walking toward me. There was nothing remarkable about her appearance - she was rather plain, actually - but from 30 feet away I sensed a goodness about her. When we made eye contact, she started to smile and I started to smile in return. But then I thought it was weird and stopped. I didn't know this girl. As she came closer, that feeling of goodness became stronger. It was so strong that when she stood next to me, I felt an invisible, but tangible glow around her...a three-foot radius of calm, peaceful goodness. It seemed like nothing negative could touch her. She made me feel relaxed, and very present. We had a short conversation about when the bus was coming, but I couldn't say much more after that. I didn't know what to make of the situation, honestly. I was a little confused. I did keep thinking, though, that one day I wanted to emanate goodness in the same way.
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