Last year taught me that if you decide to do something and start moving to make it happen, doors will open. Our wedding put me behind in figuring out goals for this year, but I've finally come up with a few.
My first goal is to expand our dance coaching opportunities. We love our coach Artem and we want to keep him as our main teacher. However, we also want to start networking and building relationships with teachers who train champions, specifically senior champions. Moreover, we want to learn the WDSF style of dancing, which is mostly danced in Europe. So I've started reaching out senior level champions and asking them about their teachers. Facebook is surprisingly helpful when it comes to this. I messaged the current world champion in Germany and she responded right away. After searching her teachers, I found out one of them is organizing a camp in Germany in October with several high level teachers attending. At first, I wasn't sure if we could afford a trip over there, but we discovered a Norwegian airline that sells tickets for about $500. This trip was looking like it could happen.
My second goal is start a vlog. I want to create videos about our adventures and dance lives. I plan to put the first one out in June.
My third goal is to begin changing careers. I don't like my job and I hate going to work every day. I have many great colleagues, but I feel like my abilities are not being utilized in the way that is most effective. And it makes the little annoyances feel unbearable. However, changing careers without disrupting the rest of your life is hard. I ultimately want a different community, more creativity, and more freedom. I also *like* learning about business and accounting and I miss that drive that makes me feel like I'm building something. I don't know how I'm going to pull this off or what I want to do exactly, but I have to make it happen.
Showing posts with label Goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Goals. Show all posts
Sunday, April 21, 2019
Saturday, January 20, 2018
Dancing with Our Stars
At the beginning of the year, I've been in a "let's make things happen" mode. I see my friends and others on social media going out and accomplishing things they want to do. The energy inside of me to do the same has been building. Instead of thinking and wondering, I ask, "how do I make this happen?" Then I reach out to people. One of my goals is already underway to being checked off: dancing at a charity event.
While I had a couple charity events in mind, there was one where I really wanted to do this: Dancing with Our Stars. It's an event for the Diaper Bank of Southern Arizona. Tucson community members ("Stars") are paired with professional instructors and compete for the mirror ball at a gala event (like the tv show). There's a lot of publicity around it (tv, radio, magazine articles) and the event itself is pretty large. They expect over 400 people to attend every year. Last year, I saw professionals at my studio participating and wanted to attend. But then I was hit with the price: $175 per ticket. No way could I afford that.
This year, I decided to put myself out there and ask the Diaper Bank if I could participate as an exhibition dancer. I thought maybe I could get in for free as a dancer "donating" my time as entertainment. Nope. I discovered that Stars who participate in the competition have to sponsor a table for $1750. Many people buy a table or have their companies sponsor it and then sell the tickets. If you want to do a performance-only piece and not compete, you have to pay $2000. If I thought $175 was out of my budget, this was out of my league entirely.
In telling me all this, the event coordinator said she was looking for more "Stars" to perform. I told her I wasn't interested, but I did nominate one of the doctors I work for, Dr. Gilbertson. She went to the event last year and expressed that she wanted to participate. In the meantime, the organizer asked if I could help with the event night itself. That way I could be there at least and see the show. I agreed.
Dr. Gilbertson hesitated for a few days, but eventually agreed to be a Star. She managed to find sponsors both in our department and at her husband's practice. She was very excited about it. I was excited for her, too. I knew she would have a good time performing. The week this was all happening, Dr. Gilbertson had a birthday party. Other doctors were chatting about it and one of them - Dr. Becker - asked me if I was participating. "Oh no," I said. "You have to sponsor a table in order to participate." "Oh we can do that for you," she responded immediately. I was caught off guard. We talked about it a bit more and she said she could find people interested in going. Ibrahim was skeptical about this. "Make sure this isn't drunk party talk," he joked. I sent her an email with the details and the next week confirmed she was still willing to help with this. And so I was in.
I'm still in disbelief somewhat. I had this huge obstacle in front of me ($2000 to pay for a 2 minute dance performance) and now it is gone. We're performing! In front of 400 people!
While I had a couple charity events in mind, there was one where I really wanted to do this: Dancing with Our Stars. It's an event for the Diaper Bank of Southern Arizona. Tucson community members ("Stars") are paired with professional instructors and compete for the mirror ball at a gala event (like the tv show). There's a lot of publicity around it (tv, radio, magazine articles) and the event itself is pretty large. They expect over 400 people to attend every year. Last year, I saw professionals at my studio participating and wanted to attend. But then I was hit with the price: $175 per ticket. No way could I afford that.
This year, I decided to put myself out there and ask the Diaper Bank if I could participate as an exhibition dancer. I thought maybe I could get in for free as a dancer "donating" my time as entertainment. Nope. I discovered that Stars who participate in the competition have to sponsor a table for $1750. Many people buy a table or have their companies sponsor it and then sell the tickets. If you want to do a performance-only piece and not compete, you have to pay $2000. If I thought $175 was out of my budget, this was out of my league entirely.
In telling me all this, the event coordinator said she was looking for more "Stars" to perform. I told her I wasn't interested, but I did nominate one of the doctors I work for, Dr. Gilbertson. She went to the event last year and expressed that she wanted to participate. In the meantime, the organizer asked if I could help with the event night itself. That way I could be there at least and see the show. I agreed.
Dr. Gilbertson hesitated for a few days, but eventually agreed to be a Star. She managed to find sponsors both in our department and at her husband's practice. She was very excited about it. I was excited for her, too. I knew she would have a good time performing. The week this was all happening, Dr. Gilbertson had a birthday party. Other doctors were chatting about it and one of them - Dr. Becker - asked me if I was participating. "Oh no," I said. "You have to sponsor a table in order to participate." "Oh we can do that for you," she responded immediately. I was caught off guard. We talked about it a bit more and she said she could find people interested in going. Ibrahim was skeptical about this. "Make sure this isn't drunk party talk," he joked. I sent her an email with the details and the next week confirmed she was still willing to help with this. And so I was in.
I'm still in disbelief somewhat. I had this huge obstacle in front of me ($2000 to pay for a 2 minute dance performance) and now it is gone. We're performing! In front of 400 people!
Sunday, December 31, 2017
Yearly Review: 2017 to 2018
Wow! What a year! As usual, let's look at my goals from last year and compare to what actually happened:
Goals for 2017
1) Front splits and side splits. (Stretch goal) - Nope. This did not happen.
2) Make rondes (RON-days) that are level with my head when I kick them in my routines. Neither did this, but I need to work on it.
3) Semi-final in SOMETHING at NDCA nationals this year. (Stretch goal). We only made it as far as quarter final in novice standard; round three for pre-champ standard and novice latin, and round one for pre-champ latin.
4) Do four dance competitions (big, small, medium, whatever). Yes: People's Choice, Galaxy, Chicago Dancesport Challenge, and Devil Dancesport Invitational.
5) Dance a latin and standard routine that I'm not ashamed to post on facebook/youtube. I think I posted a latin routine from a showcase, but unfortunately, that's the only one I liked. Everything else I've danced has been painful to watch. For standard, I'm more willing to post those videos. I'm also looking forward to more videos, because I think my posture has improved by a few miles since my last competition.
6) Successfully rhinestone a standard and latin dress. Meaning, they don't look bad. Yeah, I think this one was accomplished :).
7) Design a practice dress and sew it. (Stretch goal) Ha. No way. The sewing dream has been left behind. I still have my singer (and I still love it), but I just don't have time to learn to sew. I can give it maybe a few hours on the weekend.
8) Make friends at dance competitions. Yes!!! I've made lots of new friends and it's been SO fun!!
Additional thoughts: I think this is the first year I've had solid goals that I believe are attainable. A few of them are "stretch goals" that may be a little ambitious, but they aren't impossible. My only professional goal this year is to not get fired. I need my job to support my dancing habit. I'm pretty excited about 2017. I'm hoping to be in a place I don't expect (in a good way) by this time next year.
I definitely ended up in a place I didn't expect: engaged!
My professional goal at the UA for this year is to, again, not get fired.
Plans and goals for 2018 and 2019
Ibrahim and I have already been looking ahead. He will be teaching three courses in the fall (max load), so that he can take off for the spring of 2019. A friend/colleague of his in England is organizing some kind of semester-long project. If Ibrahim can get funding, he'll make a few trips over there. If he can't, he'll work from home. He's also hoping to get some of his own research done during that time and publish some papers. So fall 2018 is going to be extremely busy for him and we probably won't be competing much. We'll already have two weddings to attend - one being our own. Also, since he has something going on in England in 2019 anyway, we're planning to compete at Blackpool that year. I am not anticipating anything miraculous, but we want to make our first attempt then. Our goal is to go twice before we're designated to senior division.
2018 Goals
1) Final at Nationals in novice standard, both NDCA and USA Dance. We've already pointed out of novice standard in USA Dance, so we're hoping to final. Either way, we have to move up.
2) Achieve more muscular definition. I've been working out at home and slowly building my home gym (which I love!) I really like all the workout "toys": dumbbells, kettlebells, resistance bands, balls, plyo boxes, etc. I enjoy strength training, especially the kind that involves more intricate coordination (combination moves). However, I feel like I've been working out and I still look like a marshmallow. I'm hoping to change that this year.
3) Perform at a charity/fundraising event. We have various charity events in Tucson and I would like to perform at one of them. A lot of professionals will do performances to get students, but I just want to put on a show! Ibrahim and I are at a level where we look like professionals to the laypeople, so I think we could pull off an entertaining performance :).
4) Get married. This seems like a non-fail goal, but I swear...the planning is so hard for me. Every time I think I have a plan, guest list, venue, date, or schedule, things change. I'm hoping things will come together.
5) Get a professional portrait taken. I would just really like one of these. I've been looking for a photographer who I think would capture the mood/image I want.
6) Make more dance friends. I feel like I can't have enough of these.
Main take-away from 2017 and hope for 2018
The message that stayed with me for half of 2017 was to really appreciate life and put myself out there to meet people. This year - as you know - I knew a young man, Nic, who died two months after we met. I knew him for such a short time and yet he left an unforgettable impression on me. He was so open and friendly; just knowing him made me feel good. After he died, I learned that he was like this with everyone and he shared his love of dance with everyone in his community. He was one of the top amateur dancers in the country and there wasn't a haughty bone in his body. I only met Nic because Ibrahim suggested going out with him and his partner; I was too shy otherwise. I nearly missed an opportunity to be graced by his life. Anyway, since his death, I decided I wanted to be like Nic. I wanted to be as open and friendly. I wanted to express love and happiness more and connect with people. Being isolated makes me unhappy, but I'm not always brave enough to step outside my box - what if people think I'm weird or don't like me? Now, I care less. When I think that my life could be taken from me at any day, I want to take advantage and spread light.
My hope for 2018 is to continue the openness and positivity. Of course, I also hope that everyone in my life stays healthy and no tragedy comes upon us. I want to continue the adventures and I'm loving the unexpected, happy surprises that come up - I hope there are more! :)
Happy New Year, everyone!
P.S. For a photo review of 2017, check out my #BestNine2017 on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/BdWRS1VgDSy/
Goals for 2017
1) Front splits and side splits. (Stretch goal) - Nope. This did not happen.
2) Make rondes (RON-days) that are level with my head when I kick them in my routines. Neither did this, but I need to work on it.
3) Semi-final in SOMETHING at NDCA nationals this year. (Stretch goal). We only made it as far as quarter final in novice standard; round three for pre-champ standard and novice latin, and round one for pre-champ latin.
4) Do four dance competitions (big, small, medium, whatever). Yes: People's Choice, Galaxy, Chicago Dancesport Challenge, and Devil Dancesport Invitational.
5) Dance a latin and standard routine that I'm not ashamed to post on facebook/youtube. I think I posted a latin routine from a showcase, but unfortunately, that's the only one I liked. Everything else I've danced has been painful to watch. For standard, I'm more willing to post those videos. I'm also looking forward to more videos, because I think my posture has improved by a few miles since my last competition.
6) Successfully rhinestone a standard and latin dress. Meaning, they don't look bad. Yeah, I think this one was accomplished :).
7) Design a practice dress and sew it. (Stretch goal) Ha. No way. The sewing dream has been left behind. I still have my singer (and I still love it), but I just don't have time to learn to sew. I can give it maybe a few hours on the weekend.
8) Make friends at dance competitions. Yes!!! I've made lots of new friends and it's been SO fun!!
Additional thoughts: I think this is the first year I've had solid goals that I believe are attainable. A few of them are "stretch goals" that may be a little ambitious, but they aren't impossible. My only professional goal this year is to not get fired. I need my job to support my dancing habit. I'm pretty excited about 2017. I'm hoping to be in a place I don't expect (in a good way) by this time next year.
I definitely ended up in a place I didn't expect: engaged!
My professional goal at the UA for this year is to, again, not get fired.
Plans and goals for 2018 and 2019
Ibrahim and I have already been looking ahead. He will be teaching three courses in the fall (max load), so that he can take off for the spring of 2019. A friend/colleague of his in England is organizing some kind of semester-long project. If Ibrahim can get funding, he'll make a few trips over there. If he can't, he'll work from home. He's also hoping to get some of his own research done during that time and publish some papers. So fall 2018 is going to be extremely busy for him and we probably won't be competing much. We'll already have two weddings to attend - one being our own. Also, since he has something going on in England in 2019 anyway, we're planning to compete at Blackpool that year. I am not anticipating anything miraculous, but we want to make our first attempt then. Our goal is to go twice before we're designated to senior division.
2018 Goals
1) Final at Nationals in novice standard, both NDCA and USA Dance. We've already pointed out of novice standard in USA Dance, so we're hoping to final. Either way, we have to move up.
2) Achieve more muscular definition. I've been working out at home and slowly building my home gym (which I love!) I really like all the workout "toys": dumbbells, kettlebells, resistance bands, balls, plyo boxes, etc. I enjoy strength training, especially the kind that involves more intricate coordination (combination moves). However, I feel like I've been working out and I still look like a marshmallow. I'm hoping to change that this year.
3) Perform at a charity/fundraising event. We have various charity events in Tucson and I would like to perform at one of them. A lot of professionals will do performances to get students, but I just want to put on a show! Ibrahim and I are at a level where we look like professionals to the laypeople, so I think we could pull off an entertaining performance :).
4) Get married. This seems like a non-fail goal, but I swear...the planning is so hard for me. Every time I think I have a plan, guest list, venue, date, or schedule, things change. I'm hoping things will come together.
5) Get a professional portrait taken. I would just really like one of these. I've been looking for a photographer who I think would capture the mood/image I want.
6) Make more dance friends. I feel like I can't have enough of these.
Main take-away from 2017 and hope for 2018
The message that stayed with me for half of 2017 was to really appreciate life and put myself out there to meet people. This year - as you know - I knew a young man, Nic, who died two months after we met. I knew him for such a short time and yet he left an unforgettable impression on me. He was so open and friendly; just knowing him made me feel good. After he died, I learned that he was like this with everyone and he shared his love of dance with everyone in his community. He was one of the top amateur dancers in the country and there wasn't a haughty bone in his body. I only met Nic because Ibrahim suggested going out with him and his partner; I was too shy otherwise. I nearly missed an opportunity to be graced by his life. Anyway, since his death, I decided I wanted to be like Nic. I wanted to be as open and friendly. I wanted to express love and happiness more and connect with people. Being isolated makes me unhappy, but I'm not always brave enough to step outside my box - what if people think I'm weird or don't like me? Now, I care less. When I think that my life could be taken from me at any day, I want to take advantage and spread light.
My hope for 2018 is to continue the openness and positivity. Of course, I also hope that everyone in my life stays healthy and no tragedy comes upon us. I want to continue the adventures and I'm loving the unexpected, happy surprises that come up - I hope there are more! :)
Happy New Year, everyone!
P.S. For a photo review of 2017, check out my #BestNine2017 on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/BdWRS1VgDSy/
Monday, September 4, 2017
Photoshoot
It finally happened! I finally had the dance photoshoot I've been waiting for. The studio had an urban vibe to it - high ceilings, brick walls. A small sprung dance floor surrounded by lighting equipment was on the far side. The building was cooled by only a swamp cooler, so it was humid.
We began the shoot with me dancing until he saw something he wanted to focus on. He would choose a pose and then have me move through it. He would take a picture, examine it, and then have me adjust: turn my hips 15 degrees counterclockwise, bring my left shoulder toward him, look slightly down, break the wrist line, put my arms above my head, soften the fingers, jump, keep my feet together tight, and point the toes. He'd give me 5-6 instructions at a time and then build from there. Inevitably I'd forget something. He'd then remind me or I'd say, "Oh I forgot! Let me try again!" We would do the pose 7-8 times and he would take one shot for each take. Sometimes in the middle of a pose he would say, "Oh! You gave me an idea!" and we would try something different.
Every so often, I would look at each set of photos we took throughout the session. I was struck by the contrast between what I felt and images I portrayed on camera. I realized that taking photos is like any performance art: the emotion you convey to the audience is not something you actually feel. What you feel is purely physical - you're going through the list of tasks you need to accomplish: eyes closed, chin down, feet together, jump. I could immediately relate this to when I'm dancing in a showcase or performing theatre on stage: I rarely ever felt anything, I just followed my instructions/training. However, it became even clearer to me in this photo session that feeling emotion and showing emotion are two completely different things.
While Ed did some directing of our time, a lot of it was spent collaborating and some decisions were completely left up to me. He would take a series of photos and then have me look at them. I would look at the positioning of my head/shoulders/hands/feet/legs and then get back on the floor to angle them more, give more extension, or relax.
About three quarters through the session, my toes started hurting. I reached down to touch them and realized I was getting blisters, and the skin was coming off on one of them. I had done everything barefoot until that point, which I wasn't used to - usually I had suede under my feet. But I didn't want to stop the shoot. As long as I wasn't bleeding, I'd keep going. We did two more costume changes.
After nearly four hours, we called it a day. I was worn out, my feet were beat up, and I was sweating a ton from the humidity and heat. All in all, it was a good experience. Before I walked out of the studio, I was already thinking about how and when I would do it again and what I would change for next time :).
I included some of the photos from the shoot below (we took hundreds of shots). These are all raw images that have zero editing. I chose three from the entire batch Ed gave me and he will give them the final polish. Those proofs are not here and I'll show their final versions in a future post.
We began the shoot with me dancing until he saw something he wanted to focus on. He would choose a pose and then have me move through it. He would take a picture, examine it, and then have me adjust: turn my hips 15 degrees counterclockwise, bring my left shoulder toward him, look slightly down, break the wrist line, put my arms above my head, soften the fingers, jump, keep my feet together tight, and point the toes. He'd give me 5-6 instructions at a time and then build from there. Inevitably I'd forget something. He'd then remind me or I'd say, "Oh I forgot! Let me try again!" We would do the pose 7-8 times and he would take one shot for each take. Sometimes in the middle of a pose he would say, "Oh! You gave me an idea!" and we would try something different.
Every so often, I would look at each set of photos we took throughout the session. I was struck by the contrast between what I felt and images I portrayed on camera. I realized that taking photos is like any performance art: the emotion you convey to the audience is not something you actually feel. What you feel is purely physical - you're going through the list of tasks you need to accomplish: eyes closed, chin down, feet together, jump. I could immediately relate this to when I'm dancing in a showcase or performing theatre on stage: I rarely ever felt anything, I just followed my instructions/training. However, it became even clearer to me in this photo session that feeling emotion and showing emotion are two completely different things.
While Ed did some directing of our time, a lot of it was spent collaborating and some decisions were completely left up to me. He would take a series of photos and then have me look at them. I would look at the positioning of my head/shoulders/hands/feet/legs and then get back on the floor to angle them more, give more extension, or relax.
About three quarters through the session, my toes started hurting. I reached down to touch them and realized I was getting blisters, and the skin was coming off on one of them. I had done everything barefoot until that point, which I wasn't used to - usually I had suede under my feet. But I didn't want to stop the shoot. As long as I wasn't bleeding, I'd keep going. We did two more costume changes.
After nearly four hours, we called it a day. I was worn out, my feet were beat up, and I was sweating a ton from the humidity and heat. All in all, it was a good experience. Before I walked out of the studio, I was already thinking about how and when I would do it again and what I would change for next time :).
I included some of the photos from the shoot below (we took hundreds of shots). These are all raw images that have zero editing. I chose three from the entire batch Ed gave me and he will give them the final polish. Those proofs are not here and I'll show their final versions in a future post.
Saturday, February 6, 2016
The Anti-Passion Trail
I'm trying to instill the anti-follow-your-passion mindset in myself. It seems that some people do good by this type of thinking and some don't. Apparently I'm one of the latter. I just end up confused and anxious when I think about my "passions." I've been watching a few videos and listening to podcasts this last week on NOT following one's passion and they have offered some key insights:
1) Mike Rowe on "Behind the Brand." Mike Rowe is the host of Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel. His position on work is that you go in the opposite direction of everyone else, because that's where the money is. Hence, Dirty Jobs is about people who make a living doing work no one wants to do and many of them are millionaires. Mike himself actually looked for likely-to-fail projects in Hollywood; this way he could work for a few weeks and then take a few weeks off. However, the main takeaway I received from this video was that you need to figure out how to monetize your work. That is the bottom line. No matter how much you love what you do, if you're not earning money, you're not eating. The people in Dirty Jobs found an opportunity to make money, became good at it, and then learned to love it.
A similar idea is discussed here:
2) Reply All Podcast: Perfect Crime. The guys on Reply All reported on an actress and a long-running, but terrible show in New York called "Perfect Crime." It has bad reviews, yet people keep seeing it. The whole setup is a different way to define success - even though the show is awful, it manages to continue running and cast and crew remain employed. Not a "passion-filled" operation at all; it's paradoxical, but it seems to be working.
Next was:
3) Ben Horowitz - Commencement Speech. The part I liked best was his observations on following one's passion (around 8:00): passions are hard to prioritize (Amen!), what you're passionate about now may not be what you're passionate about in the future, you might not be very good at your passion (think American Idol), and following your passion is very a me-centered view of the world. He suggests, "Follow your contribution. Find the thing you're great at, put that into the world, contribute to others, and help the world be better."
So this speech helped explain why I become anxious when I think about following my passions- they are many and can change. Still, there is the question of, "What do I choose?" I admit that I'm not game for doing a job for only the sake of money. I'm not interested in a "dirty job" and I don't have a particular knack for computers or engineering.
4) Elizabeth Gilbert suggests following your curiosity. (This is a really beautiful speech, by the way.)
The things I've been good at most of my life are writing and performing. However, writing is more of bi-product of my life and I burned out on theatre and dance. I'm still into language and performance - like speaking and radio - and business and personal finance (I'm not a numbers person, but I like learning about money management)...? I guess I could start there? Maybe I should make a list of all the skills I want to develop and just start working on them.
Finally, there is the employment environment question. What kind of arrangement is good for me? I stress out a lot when I have to search for my own paycheck (freelance work). So I need a structured environment and steady paycheck (at least right now)...but my current situation is not ok with me for the long-term. I do not want to be an assistant to anyone. Eventually, I want my own projects, my own work, and my own brand. But how do I get those without throwing my salary and healthcare out the window?
I happened to glance at an email from Chris Guillebeau, author of The Art of Non-Conformity. Loved that book. I'm signed up for all his emails and even attended his World Domination Summit 2.5 years ago, which was great. He's coming out with a new book in April and I checked out the website. Interestingly, the website contains a quiz about working style: http://bornforthisbook.com/. I took the quiz twice. The first time, the result was kind of true...it determined that I was an "Independent Creative." However, I think this is something I want to be in the future, not right now. Eventually, I want to break away from the corporate world, but not yet. I retook the quiz and the second time it gave me, "Dynamic Organizer," which seems to fit very well, actually. I like and need structure within my workplace, but very much want a "side hustle," as they call it. So this is my answer to the work environment question.
Some of you may be asking about the business school thing I wrote about in December. I started studying for the GMAT full on and then became confused after three weeks. I wondered if I was doing it for something to do. My pace then slowed as I struggled with the math content and finally stopped for a week as I tried to collect myself. I think I might pick it up again just so I can take the exam and not quit. I hate feeling like a quitter and I don't want to add yet one more thing to that list. People accomplish lots of things every day and I feel like I can't even accomplish one. The trouble is, I also have a side job coming up soon that I agreed to do for someone, so my studying is going to slow down anyway.
I think my question now is, do I make business school my "side hustle" or focus on some other interest? ....geez...I don't know.
If anyone has thoughts on anything I just wrote - not necessarily about what I should do - please share!
1) Mike Rowe on "Behind the Brand." Mike Rowe is the host of Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel. His position on work is that you go in the opposite direction of everyone else, because that's where the money is. Hence, Dirty Jobs is about people who make a living doing work no one wants to do and many of them are millionaires. Mike himself actually looked for likely-to-fail projects in Hollywood; this way he could work for a few weeks and then take a few weeks off. However, the main takeaway I received from this video was that you need to figure out how to monetize your work. That is the bottom line. No matter how much you love what you do, if you're not earning money, you're not eating. The people in Dirty Jobs found an opportunity to make money, became good at it, and then learned to love it.
A similar idea is discussed here:
2) Reply All Podcast: Perfect Crime. The guys on Reply All reported on an actress and a long-running, but terrible show in New York called "Perfect Crime." It has bad reviews, yet people keep seeing it. The whole setup is a different way to define success - even though the show is awful, it manages to continue running and cast and crew remain employed. Not a "passion-filled" operation at all; it's paradoxical, but it seems to be working.
Next was:
3) Ben Horowitz - Commencement Speech. The part I liked best was his observations on following one's passion (around 8:00): passions are hard to prioritize (Amen!), what you're passionate about now may not be what you're passionate about in the future, you might not be very good at your passion (think American Idol), and following your passion is very a me-centered view of the world. He suggests, "Follow your contribution. Find the thing you're great at, put that into the world, contribute to others, and help the world be better."
So this speech helped explain why I become anxious when I think about following my passions- they are many and can change. Still, there is the question of, "What do I choose?" I admit that I'm not game for doing a job for only the sake of money. I'm not interested in a "dirty job" and I don't have a particular knack for computers or engineering.
4) Elizabeth Gilbert suggests following your curiosity. (This is a really beautiful speech, by the way.)
The things I've been good at most of my life are writing and performing. However, writing is more of bi-product of my life and I burned out on theatre and dance. I'm still into language and performance - like speaking and radio - and business and personal finance (I'm not a numbers person, but I like learning about money management)...? I guess I could start there? Maybe I should make a list of all the skills I want to develop and just start working on them.
Finally, there is the employment environment question. What kind of arrangement is good for me? I stress out a lot when I have to search for my own paycheck (freelance work). So I need a structured environment and steady paycheck (at least right now)...but my current situation is not ok with me for the long-term. I do not want to be an assistant to anyone. Eventually, I want my own projects, my own work, and my own brand. But how do I get those without throwing my salary and healthcare out the window?
I happened to glance at an email from Chris Guillebeau, author of The Art of Non-Conformity. Loved that book. I'm signed up for all his emails and even attended his World Domination Summit 2.5 years ago, which was great. He's coming out with a new book in April and I checked out the website. Interestingly, the website contains a quiz about working style: http://bornforthisbook.com/. I took the quiz twice. The first time, the result was kind of true...it determined that I was an "Independent Creative." However, I think this is something I want to be in the future, not right now. Eventually, I want to break away from the corporate world, but not yet. I retook the quiz and the second time it gave me, "Dynamic Organizer," which seems to fit very well, actually. I like and need structure within my workplace, but very much want a "side hustle," as they call it. So this is my answer to the work environment question.
Some of you may be asking about the business school thing I wrote about in December. I started studying for the GMAT full on and then became confused after three weeks. I wondered if I was doing it for something to do. My pace then slowed as I struggled with the math content and finally stopped for a week as I tried to collect myself. I think I might pick it up again just so I can take the exam and not quit. I hate feeling like a quitter and I don't want to add yet one more thing to that list. People accomplish lots of things every day and I feel like I can't even accomplish one. The trouble is, I also have a side job coming up soon that I agreed to do for someone, so my studying is going to slow down anyway.
I think my question now is, do I make business school my "side hustle" or focus on some other interest? ....geez...I don't know.
If anyone has thoughts on anything I just wrote - not necessarily about what I should do - please share!
Friday, January 1, 2016
Amy's Year in Review 2015
A lot has happened with work this year, so this review will focus a lot on my professional life.
2015 Challenges
Breakdown/personal crisis in January. 2015 hit me hard right off the bat.
Short-staffed February to April at the office. I was taking on so much extra and the stress was upsetting me physically: breaking out, couldn't sleep, binge eating.
Dealing with people exploding/unloading on me, being demanding, and giving me tasks that I felt were inappropriate (e.g. writing his/her letters of recommendation) but to which I couldn't say no.
Figuring out what to do with my life. I've felt so restless this year and frustrated with my job. Sometimes work was crazy and sometimes it was boring. Either way, I do not see the UA as my end all be all. This year I've wanted more out of life, but felt constrained by my lack of transportation and money. I've been lonely for friends and agitated in my search for life-purpose fulfillment.
2015 Successes
Going home for two weddings and introducing Mike to my family at one of them. He was nervous and stressed a lot of the time (because he wasn't working), but we managed to get him out on the dance floor a few times (thanks to an intoxicated sister ;) ). I was glad he was there and he said afterward that it was a good trip.
Taking a family road trip to Wyoming. Being in a truck with family for hours on end was actually kind of fun, and Jackson Hole was a win for everyone. I hope we can do another family trip this year.
Cycling a 68+ mile ride. I've never hated wind and being the middle of nowhere in the desert so much. I'm not going to do any hardcore cycling again for a while, though I still find hills (both up and down) exhilarating.
Earning a very nice - and very needed - promotion at the end of the year.
Building a reputation as very competent, dependable employee. We've been through a couple mini crises this year, and I'm proud of the fact that people have come to depend on me because they know I will get the job done and it will be done well.
Things I've Learned
1) Build relationships with people at work, even if it's in small ways like favors or telling jokes. This could benefit you in the future.
2) Ask for help. My job is a balancing act between serving people and letting them walk all over you. Because I can't really tell people "no," I've learned to reach out to other admins to help me accomplish a task. There are many times where we pick up each other's extra work.
3) At the same time, I've learned that there is a line. Watching people take advantage of someone who was always open to everyone and couldn't say no has shown me the toll it can take. I will not be a doormat.
4) My supervisor Maria is amazing. Her work is stressful in that she's often cleaning up the mistakes of the Chairman (he missed a meeting or didn't clear travel approval before he left) while assisting in running the department. However, she doesn't forget her admin staff in the process. She wants what is best for us and trusts us all completely. She has no desire to micromanage. Once I asked her about the gates to the research area of our department (there's a changing room there that I like to use when I bike in the morning). I mentioned that sometimes security locks it at night and then doesn't unlock it in the morning, which is frustrating for me. "You need a key!" She said. "I didn't know you didn't have one!" And there was a key for me the next day. No more questions asked. She also encourages us to grow in our careers, even if that is outside of Medical Imaging and the university. Discussions have taken place between her and individual admins about looking for work elsewhere (for monetary or other reasons). She's told me that if I ever needed to move, she would gladly provide a reference. We need to do what is best for ourselves, she says.
Little by little I've been working on adopting her mindset...being trusting and supportive of an employee as a person (not just an employee for the department) and not micromanaging. I hope to be like her if/when I become a manager.
5) I bought a 4-inch memory foam mattress topper for myself. It's made a difference for sure and I look forward to going to bed now.
Goals/Thoughts/Desires for 2016
I'm going to be working with an especially dramatic and controlling person here on out - until the end of my time at Medical Imaging most likely. My goal is to learn how to work with her without losing my mind. I think if I can do that, I can do anything.
I've started doing 30 minute workouts in the morning at home. They combine strength training (using mainly body weight) and cardio. Plyometrics is almost always involved. They've made a difference in my strength and they make me feel good. My goal is to build a habit of doing this six days a week.
I am also making a habit of reading something intellectually stimulating every day - like a journal article on science, business, health, culture. I want to be more intelligent about my world and consequently more engaged. For instance, I just read about the health and financial/political crises happening in Brazil: the first female President faces impeachment for hiding budgetary issues and a virus (Zika virus) that causes microcephaly (small heads) in babies is spreading through the country via mosquitos. On top of that, the Olympic games is due to be in Rio this summer. These are important things to know, because they could eventually affect us in the US. I'm making the decision to be more informed and exercise my brain just as I do my body.
It's been a year since I've been to the cardiologist. I might try to find a primary care doctor and get a check up on my cholesterol situation. I know my vitals all seem to be good - super low heart rate, good blood pressure. It couldn't hurt to follow up, though.
As you read here, I've decided to pursue business school instead of a car. My first goal through June is to study for the GMAT. The intensity of this exam process didn't sink in until yesterday when I was setting up a plan. I was thinking more about business school, as well, and I became afraid. I was afraid of debt, disrupting my routine, and lack of sleep. I was afraid of the competitive atmosphere and being behind everyone else. I'm not practiced to think strategically in business! I was afraid of the realization that maybe I wasn't good enough to be there. Why did I want to go to business school anyway?? How am I going to answer that question in essays, interviews, and conversations at work? I'm not panicked right now, but these are things I'm going to work out over the next few months. The thing is...the more I think about business school, the more scared I become and the more I want to go. It's an emotional tennis match. All I'm going to say is, let's get through round one of the GMAT and see how things go.
Over and out. Bring on 2016.
2015 Challenges
Breakdown/personal crisis in January. 2015 hit me hard right off the bat.
Short-staffed February to April at the office. I was taking on so much extra and the stress was upsetting me physically: breaking out, couldn't sleep, binge eating.
Dealing with people exploding/unloading on me, being demanding, and giving me tasks that I felt were inappropriate (e.g. writing his/her letters of recommendation) but to which I couldn't say no.
Figuring out what to do with my life. I've felt so restless this year and frustrated with my job. Sometimes work was crazy and sometimes it was boring. Either way, I do not see the UA as my end all be all. This year I've wanted more out of life, but felt constrained by my lack of transportation and money. I've been lonely for friends and agitated in my search for life-purpose fulfillment.
2015 Successes
Going home for two weddings and introducing Mike to my family at one of them. He was nervous and stressed a lot of the time (because he wasn't working), but we managed to get him out on the dance floor a few times (thanks to an intoxicated sister ;) ). I was glad he was there and he said afterward that it was a good trip.
Taking a family road trip to Wyoming. Being in a truck with family for hours on end was actually kind of fun, and Jackson Hole was a win for everyone. I hope we can do another family trip this year.
Cycling a 68+ mile ride. I've never hated wind and being the middle of nowhere in the desert so much. I'm not going to do any hardcore cycling again for a while, though I still find hills (both up and down) exhilarating.
Earning a very nice - and very needed - promotion at the end of the year.
Building a reputation as very competent, dependable employee. We've been through a couple mini crises this year, and I'm proud of the fact that people have come to depend on me because they know I will get the job done and it will be done well.
Things I've Learned
1) Build relationships with people at work, even if it's in small ways like favors or telling jokes. This could benefit you in the future.
2) Ask for help. My job is a balancing act between serving people and letting them walk all over you. Because I can't really tell people "no," I've learned to reach out to other admins to help me accomplish a task. There are many times where we pick up each other's extra work.
3) At the same time, I've learned that there is a line. Watching people take advantage of someone who was always open to everyone and couldn't say no has shown me the toll it can take. I will not be a doormat.
4) My supervisor Maria is amazing. Her work is stressful in that she's often cleaning up the mistakes of the Chairman (he missed a meeting or didn't clear travel approval before he left) while assisting in running the department. However, she doesn't forget her admin staff in the process. She wants what is best for us and trusts us all completely. She has no desire to micromanage. Once I asked her about the gates to the research area of our department (there's a changing room there that I like to use when I bike in the morning). I mentioned that sometimes security locks it at night and then doesn't unlock it in the morning, which is frustrating for me. "You need a key!" She said. "I didn't know you didn't have one!" And there was a key for me the next day. No more questions asked. She also encourages us to grow in our careers, even if that is outside of Medical Imaging and the university. Discussions have taken place between her and individual admins about looking for work elsewhere (for monetary or other reasons). She's told me that if I ever needed to move, she would gladly provide a reference. We need to do what is best for ourselves, she says.
Little by little I've been working on adopting her mindset...being trusting and supportive of an employee as a person (not just an employee for the department) and not micromanaging. I hope to be like her if/when I become a manager.
5) I bought a 4-inch memory foam mattress topper for myself. It's made a difference for sure and I look forward to going to bed now.
Goals/Thoughts/Desires for 2016
I'm going to be working with an especially dramatic and controlling person here on out - until the end of my time at Medical Imaging most likely. My goal is to learn how to work with her without losing my mind. I think if I can do that, I can do anything.
I've started doing 30 minute workouts in the morning at home. They combine strength training (using mainly body weight) and cardio. Plyometrics is almost always involved. They've made a difference in my strength and they make me feel good. My goal is to build a habit of doing this six days a week.
I am also making a habit of reading something intellectually stimulating every day - like a journal article on science, business, health, culture. I want to be more intelligent about my world and consequently more engaged. For instance, I just read about the health and financial/political crises happening in Brazil: the first female President faces impeachment for hiding budgetary issues and a virus (Zika virus) that causes microcephaly (small heads) in babies is spreading through the country via mosquitos. On top of that, the Olympic games is due to be in Rio this summer. These are important things to know, because they could eventually affect us in the US. I'm making the decision to be more informed and exercise my brain just as I do my body.
It's been a year since I've been to the cardiologist. I might try to find a primary care doctor and get a check up on my cholesterol situation. I know my vitals all seem to be good - super low heart rate, good blood pressure. It couldn't hurt to follow up, though.
As you read here, I've decided to pursue business school instead of a car. My first goal through June is to study for the GMAT. The intensity of this exam process didn't sink in until yesterday when I was setting up a plan. I was thinking more about business school, as well, and I became afraid. I was afraid of debt, disrupting my routine, and lack of sleep. I was afraid of the competitive atmosphere and being behind everyone else. I'm not practiced to think strategically in business! I was afraid of the realization that maybe I wasn't good enough to be there. Why did I want to go to business school anyway?? How am I going to answer that question in essays, interviews, and conversations at work? I'm not panicked right now, but these are things I'm going to work out over the next few months. The thing is...the more I think about business school, the more scared I become and the more I want to go. It's an emotional tennis match. All I'm going to say is, let's get through round one of the GMAT and see how things go.
Over and out. Bring on 2016.
Saturday, November 7, 2015
66 Miles
Two weekends ago a friend invited me to ride 26 miles with a group of people on small folding bikes. They were preparing for El Tour de Tucson - our city's annual cycling race. It was fun - fun to ride that much and fun to see different parts of the city. Then last weekend, I decided I wanted to ride more, so I went for a 40 mile ride. When I came home, I looked up rides in Tucson to see if there were more people I could join. I found a training ride for the Tour put on by the Greater Arizona Bicycling Association (GABA) happening this weekend. They had three options: 35 miles, 66 miles, and 101 miles. I thought I could do the 35 miles, but could I do 66? On Sunday (the day after I did 40 miles) I decided to ride the 35 mile route. It was challenging and there was definitely a heart-attack hill to climb, but it didn't kill me, so I signed up for the longer one.
Then the preparation and worry began. Let's be clear - I've never ridden 66 miles straight. I ride an average of 10 miles/hr (not very fast) and we have a total of 9 hours to complete the route. This includes bathroom breaks, bike maintenance time (if that should befall you), eating (stands are set up along the way), or changing clothes. Two and a half extra hours seems like plenty of leeway, but there were sections of my ride on Sunday where I was definitely going below my average; uphill I was practically crawling. I've got the back and forth volley going: Can I do this? Yes I can. But can I really? I want to do it. Icarus said the same thing.
Since I'm doing this ride (it isn't even a race), I even went out and bought some cycling shorts, knickers, and a jersey. I figured I should try to look like a cyclist, instead of wearing my oversized, $2.50 jeans from Goodwill and hiking shirt (which are both admittedly comfortable). My bike is a Trek hybrid - not even a road bike - so I'm hoping it can handle the trip as well.
I think the reason I'm doing this in the first place is because I have a competitiveness that comes out every so often. My coworker told me about a former resident and fellow who a few months ago had completed 70 miles on a bicycle. This girl can't be over five feet tall. She's a tiny thing that never exercised, wore only high heels and skirts, and had a long, blonde, wavy ponytail that swished around when she walked. She looked like a doll from the land of cupcakes. If she can do 70 miles, so can I.
On the other side of the coin, I also just like to push myself physically, because it feels good and I'm curious. I'll do something - like ride up a giant hill - and ask myself, "Can I do more? What would happen if I kept going?" There's also that awesome feeling of flying down a steep hill and leaning into a turn. Feeling fast is an adrenaline rush for me.
Right now, cycling and a little strength training is about all I can manage right now. It's cheap and I have to do it anyway, because I'm carless. However, I enjoy feeling competitive again, even if it's only against Yesterday Amy. It's a neat feeling to look back at a hill and say, "I just climbed that," or look at a map and see the distance I covered. Tomorrow is the day and I hope all goes well. I hope I can walk on Monday. I'll keep you posted.
Then the preparation and worry began. Let's be clear - I've never ridden 66 miles straight. I ride an average of 10 miles/hr (not very fast) and we have a total of 9 hours to complete the route. This includes bathroom breaks, bike maintenance time (if that should befall you), eating (stands are set up along the way), or changing clothes. Two and a half extra hours seems like plenty of leeway, but there were sections of my ride on Sunday where I was definitely going below my average; uphill I was practically crawling. I've got the back and forth volley going: Can I do this? Yes I can. But can I really? I want to do it. Icarus said the same thing.
Since I'm doing this ride (it isn't even a race), I even went out and bought some cycling shorts, knickers, and a jersey. I figured I should try to look like a cyclist, instead of wearing my oversized, $2.50 jeans from Goodwill and hiking shirt (which are both admittedly comfortable). My bike is a Trek hybrid - not even a road bike - so I'm hoping it can handle the trip as well.
I think the reason I'm doing this in the first place is because I have a competitiveness that comes out every so often. My coworker told me about a former resident and fellow who a few months ago had completed 70 miles on a bicycle. This girl can't be over five feet tall. She's a tiny thing that never exercised, wore only high heels and skirts, and had a long, blonde, wavy ponytail that swished around when she walked. She looked like a doll from the land of cupcakes. If she can do 70 miles, so can I.
On the other side of the coin, I also just like to push myself physically, because it feels good and I'm curious. I'll do something - like ride up a giant hill - and ask myself, "Can I do more? What would happen if I kept going?" There's also that awesome feeling of flying down a steep hill and leaning into a turn. Feeling fast is an adrenaline rush for me.
Right now, cycling and a little strength training is about all I can manage right now. It's cheap and I have to do it anyway, because I'm carless. However, I enjoy feeling competitive again, even if it's only against Yesterday Amy. It's a neat feeling to look back at a hill and say, "I just climbed that," or look at a map and see the distance I covered. Tomorrow is the day and I hope all goes well. I hope I can walk on Monday. I'll keep you posted.
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Amy's Year in Review 2014
I enjoy looking over my life at the beginning of the New Year. It makes the time I spent living worth my while, by recognizing all I've learned and how much I've changed. Below is my list of Things I've Learned, Accomplishments, and Desires for 2015. To be honest, I don't know if the things I've learned in 2014 were actually during 2014 or if they were some time before that, but I think they're important so they're listed.
Things I've Learned
1) No human feeling is unique: everyone can experience the same emotions (on varying levels), and it is possible to feel a strong emotion repeatedly. This includes love. This year, I had a tough time changing my mindset from the idea that love is unique and highly exclusive to that it is common and shared. The truth is, we can love deeply more than once and we love many people throughout our lives. While I kind of knew this from my relationships with friends and family members, being in a close relationship with someone else made the lesson stark: I had to understand that I am a part of a person's life, not the part. That was a tough pill to swallow ("What?! You mean I'm not the only person you've ever cared about?") However, while I've learned that love itself is common, I've also learned that what comes from love is special: the family you create, the lessons you learn about yourself, and the places it takes you.
2) Talking is better than walking. I am a person who tends to cut things off and be done with them when they aren't working out. I've discovered that it's worth communicating your issues/feelings before walking out, especially if the other person wants to meet you half way.
3) Be able to justify your actions. It's a really great feeling when someone calls you out on a "mistake" and you're able to list solid, logical reasons why you did what you did.
4) You look better when you admit to a mistake than when you try to cover it up. Yes, people want something done in a timely fashion, but - at the core of the issue - they want it done right. Asking for help when you don't know is key.
5) You're given "dumb" passes in life (people forgive you when you do something stupid), but they're limited - try not to use them all up at once.
6) Learn how to fix what you mess up, because messing up is a given.
7) Sometimes you can't fix everything, though, and you have let time do the work. We all have people who won't forgive us, items that we've caught on fire and will never get back, and money (ours or someone else's) that we've tossed out the window...I think there's a specific "dumb pass" for that...Regardless, we just have to hope time will heal all emotional wreckage.
8) My body and physical ambitions have changed. In my early 20s, I thought I had figured out the "formula" to get my body the way I wanted it. Now, however, I'm no longer in that stage of post-adolescent-but-still-have-adolescent-body-functionings, and that formula doesn't work anymore. My body responds differently to food than it used to. I'm also less tolerant of being hungry and I don't have the same fascination with body mechanics anymore (aka I'm not ok with eating only a handful of food for a meal and gyms don't stimulate me like they used to). The resulting physical change has been difficult for me to deal with and I have a feeling life isn't going to be generous as I get older. I'm not giving up, but I'm also learning acceptance...
9) "Finding myself" is over. Thank. Goodness. I no longer look at each opportunity like, "THIS IS WHO I AM AND WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING WITH MY LIFE!" I have a complicated web of interests, but none of them are attached to my identity. I regard the "finding self" stage as the mental puberty of early adulthood: I had to go through it to solidify my identity, but I'm glad it's over.
10) Movies can engage a person intellectually on a deeper level than I expected. They can make you reflect upon your own morals, goals, and thinking patterns. They make you question society. This deeper thinking thing was a pleasant surprise for me. I thought you could only get it - truly - from books.
Accomplishments
Obtained a full-time job with benefits that pays me almost enough to live on (parents still help a little).
Found an apartment that only I live in. Sweet Jesus, I didn't think I'd see the day.
Read several books and watched many tv shows and movies. Who's culturally engaged ??-->>> this one!
Maintained a healthy relationship for over a year (personal record! victory dance!).
Desires/Things to Accomplish for 2015
I'm used to being broke around Christmas and not doing much. This year, I wasn't broke but I did not plan well. I felt like a scrooge when unexpected gifts were left on my desk at work and in my mailbox at home. Next year, I want to be more active about preparing for the holidays (Christmas shopping will happen and cards will be made ahead of time) and appreciate the celebrating on a religious level. I also want an Advent calendar and Jesse tree. Seriously, what's more fun than opening a tiny box every day for a month, pulling out a gift/ornament, and reading an accompanying story? Lots of things, I know, but it's still pretty great.
I want an art project and art skills! I can already see many of you slapping your foreheads - you probably remember the artistic attempts of Summer 2013? Well, I'm back to it again. Right now, the only thing on my list is a kinetic typography video. I'm hoping to have two more projects this year (cards don't count).
Professionally? I'd like to start doing more with communications. I'm going to push to help with the department newsletter and website more. Truth be told, I envy the BioComm department upstairs. I'm sure their lives are filled with tedious work, but I would love some of their technical and creative skill sets.
I struggled with my religion in 2014. I was barely going to Mass once a week, and I developed some riffs with Catholicism. I went as far as looking into various Protestant churches around the city, because I wasn't feeling like I fit in as a Catholic anymore. However, after I went to one such service, I left feeling empty. I immediately missed the richness of the Catholic church, its rituals, and its structure. I like ritual and structure, and I was very appreciative of the next Mass I attended. However, who's to say this couldn't happen again? Therefore, this year I want to read about and engage more with my faith: to start, four books on Catholicism/Christianity.
Health...I'm just keeping on keeping on. Maybe exercise a little more.
I want a group of friends...like from a club I join or something. I don't know if that will happen this year because I can already see myself being very busy. However, I think friends would be a positive addition to my life.
All right, so that is that for 2015. Lots of good stuff happened in 2014, so let's hope that goodness keeps rolling! Do you have any goals for this year or anything you learned from last year that you want to share? If so, please leave a comment or send me a message. Best to you all for 2015!
Things I've Learned
1) No human feeling is unique: everyone can experience the same emotions (on varying levels), and it is possible to feel a strong emotion repeatedly. This includes love. This year, I had a tough time changing my mindset from the idea that love is unique and highly exclusive to that it is common and shared. The truth is, we can love deeply more than once and we love many people throughout our lives. While I kind of knew this from my relationships with friends and family members, being in a close relationship with someone else made the lesson stark: I had to understand that I am a part of a person's life, not the part. That was a tough pill to swallow ("What?! You mean I'm not the only person you've ever cared about?") However, while I've learned that love itself is common, I've also learned that what comes from love is special: the family you create, the lessons you learn about yourself, and the places it takes you.
2) Talking is better than walking. I am a person who tends to cut things off and be done with them when they aren't working out. I've discovered that it's worth communicating your issues/feelings before walking out, especially if the other person wants to meet you half way.
3) Be able to justify your actions. It's a really great feeling when someone calls you out on a "mistake" and you're able to list solid, logical reasons why you did what you did.
4) You look better when you admit to a mistake than when you try to cover it up. Yes, people want something done in a timely fashion, but - at the core of the issue - they want it done right. Asking for help when you don't know is key.
5) You're given "dumb" passes in life (people forgive you when you do something stupid), but they're limited - try not to use them all up at once.
6) Learn how to fix what you mess up, because messing up is a given.
7) Sometimes you can't fix everything, though, and you have let time do the work. We all have people who won't forgive us, items that we've caught on fire and will never get back, and money (ours or someone else's) that we've tossed out the window...I think there's a specific "dumb pass" for that...Regardless, we just have to hope time will heal all emotional wreckage.
8) My body and physical ambitions have changed. In my early 20s, I thought I had figured out the "formula" to get my body the way I wanted it. Now, however, I'm no longer in that stage of post-adolescent-but-still-have-adolescent-body-functionings, and that formula doesn't work anymore. My body responds differently to food than it used to. I'm also less tolerant of being hungry and I don't have the same fascination with body mechanics anymore (aka I'm not ok with eating only a handful of food for a meal and gyms don't stimulate me like they used to). The resulting physical change has been difficult for me to deal with and I have a feeling life isn't going to be generous as I get older. I'm not giving up, but I'm also learning acceptance...
9) "Finding myself" is over. Thank. Goodness. I no longer look at each opportunity like, "THIS IS WHO I AM AND WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING WITH MY LIFE!" I have a complicated web of interests, but none of them are attached to my identity. I regard the "finding self" stage as the mental puberty of early adulthood: I had to go through it to solidify my identity, but I'm glad it's over.
10) Movies can engage a person intellectually on a deeper level than I expected. They can make you reflect upon your own morals, goals, and thinking patterns. They make you question society. This deeper thinking thing was a pleasant surprise for me. I thought you could only get it - truly - from books.
Accomplishments
Obtained a full-time job with benefits that pays me almost enough to live on (parents still help a little).
Found an apartment that only I live in. Sweet Jesus, I didn't think I'd see the day.
Read several books and watched many tv shows and movies. Who's culturally engaged ??-->>> this one!
Maintained a healthy relationship for over a year (personal record! victory dance!).
Desires/Things to Accomplish for 2015
I'm used to being broke around Christmas and not doing much. This year, I wasn't broke but I did not plan well. I felt like a scrooge when unexpected gifts were left on my desk at work and in my mailbox at home. Next year, I want to be more active about preparing for the holidays (Christmas shopping will happen and cards will be made ahead of time) and appreciate the celebrating on a religious level. I also want an Advent calendar and Jesse tree. Seriously, what's more fun than opening a tiny box every day for a month, pulling out a gift/ornament, and reading an accompanying story? Lots of things, I know, but it's still pretty great.
I want an art project and art skills! I can already see many of you slapping your foreheads - you probably remember the artistic attempts of Summer 2013? Well, I'm back to it again. Right now, the only thing on my list is a kinetic typography video. I'm hoping to have two more projects this year (cards don't count).
Professionally? I'd like to start doing more with communications. I'm going to push to help with the department newsletter and website more. Truth be told, I envy the BioComm department upstairs. I'm sure their lives are filled with tedious work, but I would love some of their technical and creative skill sets.
I struggled with my religion in 2014. I was barely going to Mass once a week, and I developed some riffs with Catholicism. I went as far as looking into various Protestant churches around the city, because I wasn't feeling like I fit in as a Catholic anymore. However, after I went to one such service, I left feeling empty. I immediately missed the richness of the Catholic church, its rituals, and its structure. I like ritual and structure, and I was very appreciative of the next Mass I attended. However, who's to say this couldn't happen again? Therefore, this year I want to read about and engage more with my faith: to start, four books on Catholicism/Christianity.
Health...I'm just keeping on keeping on. Maybe exercise a little more.
I want a group of friends...like from a club I join or something. I don't know if that will happen this year because I can already see myself being very busy. However, I think friends would be a positive addition to my life.
All right, so that is that for 2015. Lots of good stuff happened in 2014, so let's hope that goodness keeps rolling! Do you have any goals for this year or anything you learned from last year that you want to share? If so, please leave a comment or send me a message. Best to you all for 2015!
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