Job proposal

As people gradually found out yesterday that my coworker - Norma - was leaving, the more they moped and said things like, "No one will be able to replace her." A few asked me if I was going to take over her job. All I could say was, "I don't know what they have planned."

Later in the morning one of our faculty members, Dr. T, came to me and said how it was very important to her that I keep the medical student program. My heart sank, because I couldn't do medical students and be a residency manager at the same time...and whatever Dr. T wanted, usually Dr. T got. She also voiced how her relationship with Norma was very good and that she met all of her deadlines because of her (and Dr. T "had a lot of paperwork to do").  Also, the MSK fellowship was a success because of Norma. She's had six assistants in the past who did poor jobs of maintaining her work and she needed someone she could trust. Therefore she told Marcos (our executive administrator) that she wanted me to keep the medical students, take on the MSK fellowship, and be her assistant - but only if I relinquished my duties as a scheduler and runner of odds and ends for the 25 other doctors. I nodded hesitantly. This is exactly what I did not want. Dr. T is a micromanager and a person very much set in her ways (she's also stereotypical Eastern European). She likes her systems and wants everything done her way. When I first started working at Medical Imaging, she freaked out because, while she was away, I put an envelope in her mailbox and sent her an email letting her know it was there. She proceeded to call all the managing admins letting them know what I had done, asking what the envelope contained, and insisting that all mail be given to Norma only. We've gotten along better over the year and a half, but her insecure need to exert control was not something I wanted. She asked me if I was interested in doing this work for her, but it came across more like, You can answer however you want as long as it's my way. I managed to be noncommittal and said it will depend on what the administration wants to do with me. She agreed and said it will depend on what they want, but if they gave me a choice she wanted me to know that she'd put a claim on me (my paraphrase). I told her I'd think about her proposal.

This stressed me out...in addition to simply applying for the residency manager job. The qualifications for the position were hefty. I was sure I could do everything, but the learning curve would be steep. I imagined that if I did get the position, I would have early mornings and late evenings just to keep my head above water, at least in the beginning. Yet, somehow I found myself willing to risk the added stress for the paycheck and additional responsibilities. I was bored with my work and wanted more. My coworker Samantha was trying to hand over to me her work with the expense accounts, which I would have taken had Norma not left. But ever since the announcement, things have been scrambled, and Amy has been placed in the position of Pawn once again (the first time was when the fellowship coordinator left earlier in the year). I wanted a say in the matter before people put me some place because it was convenient for them. I saw Marcos a couple times that day, but he never mentioned anything to me.

Toward the end of the day, Dr. Gilbertson, the residency director, called me into her office to chat. She explained how Norma had mentioned me taking over as residency manager, but she thought the job would be too much for me right now since I've had no exposure to it. She didn't want me to be overwhelmed and set up for failure; part of the reason Norma was leaving was because the job was too stressful for her. Dr. Gilbertson proposed instead that I become a residency coordinator, or right hand to the manager. That way, I can learn about the residency without taking on the full responsibility of it. I can also continue with the medical students and take on the MSK fellowship. No doubt she had been talking to Dr. T as well. I was ok with this, though. I felt it would be enough without being too overbearing. Furthermore, the position would allow for "upward mobility" - as Dr. Gilbertson said - if I became TAGME certified; I could then potentially move into a managing position if I chose. I was ok with this too.

I then turned the conversation briefly to ask how Dr. Gilbertson was doing. She said she was doing alright, though she had her moments. I could see sadness in her eyes. She had worked with Norma for 10 years. Norma was not only her colleague, but also a friend. Dr. Gilbertson and Dr. T were both on the verge of crying when they talked about Norma leaving. She was very special to them. I questioned, though, whether Norma felt returned the feelings...whether she actually thought of them as friends or simply interacted with them as friendly superiors. This is only a guess on my part, but the latter seemed more true than the former from what I observed. Granted, I only saw a small scope of their relationship.

We turned the conversation back to the coordinator position and Dr. Gilbertson said she would push this idea with Marcos.
"Then maybe you can work towards a car!" She smiled. She knew I wanted one.
"Yes," I said. "That is the plan, actually." She asked about my plan and if I was getting closer to achieving it. I told her I was...slowly. I said that I wanted to see what would happen within the next year and what kind of work came my way. I was given a small raise in July, but if within this coming year I wasn't earning enough, I would need to start looking elsewhere...because I did want a car. She picked up the piece of paper with the job outline and said, "So this is timely then?" "Yes."

I enjoyed my chat with Dr. Gilbertson, and it felt good to let someone in on my world outside of work. However, talking with a doctor about upward mobility as a coordinator seemed superficial and slightly paternalistic. Clearly, the way she achieved upward mobility was by going to school for 9-10 years. The standard salary of an academic radiologist is $310,000-$350,000. Amy makes less than $30,000. My "upward mobility" is pennies compared to hers and it struck me as a joke to even use that phrase. Being a coordinator is not where I plan to lay my career.

After returning to my desk, Dr. T came in and asked if I'd thought about her idea for me. I told her what Dr. Gilbertson and I had discussed: taking on part of the residency - "and the rest with me," she cut in.
"Well, continuing the medical students, and taking on the MSK fellowship."
"And being my assistant."
"She didn't exactly say that -"
"That's what she meant."

In my head, I gave an exasperated sigh. Dr. T started talking again about Norma and the work that she did and how well they got on for x number of years. I finally gave in. I had part of the residency and that's what I wanted. I decided I could deal with Dr. T if I had to, so I gave her an affirmative answer. There was spring in her usual hurried walk as she left for the day.

When a potential job falls in your hands...

Remember way back when I told my boss that not only did I not want to be a manager for her company but I was also leaving to the UA? My coworker - a manager at my office - did nearly the same thing today. She announced that she would be going to work at a different hospital beginning December 1st, and telling everyone weighed on her heavily. She's a motherly-type person and definitely not the strongest-willed. However, when someone came to her with a job offer that gave her everything and more than our department could, she had to take it. She had been at Medical Imaging for 10 years.

She had told me about the offer two weeks ago and I was under the strictest confidence not to repeat anything. She didn't even know if she would take it. However, now that she's made it official, I couldn't be more proud of her. She had to have some hard conversations with people she's worked with for years. Tears were shed by a few individuals, but almost everyone wished her luck and said this was for the best.

This is where Amy comes in. When she first told me she had been offered a job, she added, "And you could be here," motioning to her office. The last time one of our employees left and people tried to push a coordinator job on me, I pushed back and refused on all fronts. Not this time, though. The thought of taking on the residency excited me. I wanted the challenge and the paycheck (no sense beating around the bush). After my coworker told her boss (one of the doctors) that she was leaving, she recommended that I take her place. The doctor asked, "Amy could work...how do we do it, though? Do we just give it to her?" My coworker said I could earn more if they posted the position, had me apply, and then accepted...rather than simply promote me. So here I am at home working on my resume. I am not counting on getting this job, but I'm definitely giving it a shot. I'm banking on going through everything (application, interview, waiting...) and encountering some tough questions. They may go with someone who has been a program manager before and tack on the assistant part to my work load (and pay me a few pennies more next year). Either way, though, I'm excited to try even if it doesn't work out.

Still, it would be great if two of us came out winners from this situation.

Oh the writing!

September has sent my mind reeling. Things have happened and my brain was going to explode from all the thoughts. However, it hasn't - so I will write them here.

First, my reading has changed. I could barely pick up a work of fiction before, and now it's what I mostly try to read. Mainly because I want to write it. This desire truly felt like it came out of nowhere (though the Harry Potter incident - see previous post - helped it along considerably). My brain has been busily scouting for books and running through ideas like a madman running down the street. I admit that feel so behind. I haven't read fiction in a while and this is part of the equation of getting good at it. So much to do!

Second, I've decided on a career path. YES CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! I've decided to pursue technical writing/editing as my money-making endeavor. I'd been talking to a friend last weekend and she was telling me about her writing and getting grants. I started thinking about grants...and grant writing...and I remembered a position at the UA for a grant/technical writer that looked interesting to me. Someone in this position would write proposals, help write/edit manuscripts, write for grants, and do other similar work. I decided to research technical writing. Now a week later, I'm a member of the Society for Technical Communication. I've started looking into certification and degree programs, but I'm hoping to talk to a professional and see what kind of education I really need. Arizona State University and Northern Arizona University offer technical/professional master's degrees that I can take online AND I receive a considerable discount since I'm a UA employee (tuition at one of these institutions is $25 for 9 credits...yeah...).

As with everything else, these things could fade, but I don't think they will. Not soon anyway. The reason I believe this is because with everything else I've considered doing, there has been a giant "wall" I would have needed to climb. The wall was made of significantly more education and involved returning to an environment (formal schooling) that I didn't much care for. These barriers don't exist in this situation...which makes a future in writing easier to pursue.