Hypercholesterolemia

When I first found out my cholesterol was sky-high, I was surprised, but I didn't mind too much. While one part of me was nervous, another part kind of enjoyed being a spectacle...abnormal, unexpected, and contradictory. I was weird and different. However, that was before I learned my "condition" wasn't going away.

I went into my cardiologist's office on Thursday, prepared to discuss my abnormal cholesterol levels and how I could eat differently to change them. I was also poised to ask him several questions about veganism and if could be maintained. We never got there. He sat down and started talking to me about my numbers. They were high, I knew that. But he said there was no way diet could influence something like what I had and that it had to be genetic. He started circling numbers...different counts of lipid particles: HDL, LDL, tryglycerides, and then their components. There were numbers for other things besides cholesterol...genes, diabetes, inflammation, liver, kidney, muscle, thyroid, and other tests (it literally said "other tests"). The whole thing was four pages long.

After he finished explaining what could have been U.S. Constitution, he went into what we should do next. He wanted to put me on statins. From what I knew of this doctor, he would not put me on medication unless he felt it was there was no other option. He told me I'd be on the medication for longer than they've been tested. He said they aren't good for pregnancy, which freaked me out. I'm not pregnant, but what if I want to be some day?? What is this going to do to me?? I've heard statins are not good for your brain because your brain needs fat/cholesterol. Am I going to have to be on statins for the rest of my life? How is it going to affect me if I have to take it for decades?

I clarified with him that this was nothing diet-influenced. No, it wasn't.
"So, it doesn't matter what I eat?"
"It always matters...you don't want to go out and eat cheeseburgers. But this is not something you can fix with diet alone."
But to me that meant it didn't matter. My cholesterol was going to be high no matter what. The doctor said that right now it isn't a problem, but down the road as plaque builds, it will be. He said I could think about the medication and that he would treat me regardless...we could work on lifestyle. He encouraged me to read the book that came with my test results, talk to people and get more opinions, read up on hypercholesterolemia, and find out about my family history.
"This isn't a death sentence."
Not for today. I was in shock and very upset. I put my sunglasses on as I left the office, because tears were coming down uncontrollably. I didn't want to concern the geriatric population in the waiting room...my new wellness peers.

I didn't do much when I got home. Except cry. And I ate a lot. I try to be conscious of my emotional eating, but this time I just didn't care. Granted, I ate a lot of fruits, vegetables, and quinoa with salsa. Then I went for a walk to the grocery store and talked to my mom. Then I cried some more. I bought dates and chocolate and binged on those at the store - didn't even wait to get home. The next day I went to work, but wasn't really present. The news could be worse, I thought. I wasn't told I had leukemia, cancer, AIDS, or some other incurable disease. But it felt like I had been. In my mind, my body received some bad information and was killing me slowly. It wouldn't happen today or tomorrow, but eventually - somewhere in middle age - it would get me. The only cure was a medication of which the effects are unknown and which could also cause more damage. It's like my body was asking me to choose: my brain/fertility or my heart. I didn't want to be a spectacle anymore.

Today is Saturday. I did talk with some people, including those who take statins. But many of them are over 50 and did not start taking them until middle age. I looked into alternative forms of care, including reaching out to a friend who is both a biochemist and acupuncturist. I respect her very much and asked what her opinion on the matter was. She said medication was the most effective - acupuncture and diet change would not do much good. I think that was the final word I needed. If alternative medicine couldn't do it, then I would have to take statins. However, I'm still scared.