Sunday, June 3, 2012

Crazy Things Can Happen Sometimes

I emailed my dance teacher Maja two weeks ago, essentially telling her that I was setting ballroom dancing aside for right now. I explained that I couldn’t go back to working a draining, full-time job like I used to in order to compete. While I didn’t say this next part, the truth was that I couldn’t pursue standard dancing by myself. I needed at least one other person to do it with me – a partner. Remember the post about community? I needed ballroom people in my life in order to pursue it. The email to Maja took me a month to write. I was sad to send it, but it needed to be done. I mean, who was I kidding? I hadn’t practiced any standard for months and I needed some closure on the whole dancing thing.

Then – exactly 24 hours later to the minute – I received an email from DancePartner.com. Someone had sent me a message asking if I would be interested in practicing sometime.

I. was. shocked. Then I was ecstatic! Months ago, Maja helped me make a list of my ideal dance partner characteristics. While this person – Shey - didn’t have all the characteristics I listed, he had the important ones. He was a local and newer professional in Tucson who had no experience in standard but really wanted to learn it. I liked his enthusiasm and thought, “This could be it!” But I remembered I didn’t want to go back to a 40-hour job and I had already made a plan to become a yoga teacher. I wanted to just pick something and stay with it for once. I also wanted to only make enough to live on and be happy with that. I decided to email him and say, “Thanks, but no thanks. Dancing is done for me.”

But then he sent me another message, saying he really hoped we could meet up and practice sometime. His energy for dancing standard was heartbreaking, because I no longer had what he had. However, after thinking it over and having three people tell me I should at least meet him, I emailed him back saying we could practice. I made sure to say that I hadn’t practiced in months and I was planning to become a yoga teacher…basically, “Don’t get your hopes up.” He was still interested, and we made plans to meet up the coming Saturday.

Our practice/meeting turned out really well. We danced a little bit and I was happy to know I could still move well across the floor – yay! As far as competing together, we both recognized that it probably wouldn’t work, because he was a bit too short for me when I was in heels. However, I don’t think either of us had too much interest in competing at the moment. We watched some videos on standard and spent some time learning and practicing the steps – lead and follow parts. We stopped after two hours, though, and started talking dance philosophy and approach. We quickly discovered we were on the exact same page.

Our conversation took many turns, from body mechanics in dancing to body mechanics in weight lifting and yoga. Then it we went into our “normal” lives (where we worked) and talked about our life goals and what we were doing in Tucson. Talking to Shey was surprisingly easy. We achieved a familiarity with each other in a couple hours that you normally wouldn’t see right away. I liked the way he thought about things and he spoke with a sense of security and confidence in what he was saying…something I have yet to master. He wants to be a dance coach and I can see him being a good one– this generation’s Bill Irvine (a short, but great ballroom master) :). 

While we agreed to meet next weekend, I was still unsure if this was a direction in which I wanted to go. I still didn’t have a drive like his.

He gave me a ride home and before I left the car he asked,
“What do you love?” I paused, frustrated/tired. I've been asking myself that for the past year.
“I don’t know. I’ve said my normal answer so many times I think it might be mechanical.”
“What do you answer normally?”
“Dancing. But I like writing - I do that every day. I have to...otherwise I can't function. I like teaching, too. And learning about the body.”
“What makes that answer mechanical?” Thinking about dancing and my on/off relationship with it, I answered,“Is it really ‘love’ if don’t do it all the time? …What does it even mean to 'love something?'”

I was home just then, so we never answered the question. A question for the future, I suppose, for the future.

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