Holy Grail

The amateurs who attend Arizona competitions are usually locals, with occasional outsiders coming in from other western states. This year at People's Choice Dancesport Competition, we had an amateur couple from Minnesota compete with us. Afterward, Ibrahim invited them out for dinner/drinks. Nic and Neli turned out to be very congenial and we had a good time.

An interesting conversation came up when I asked them about their coaching - where do they go in Minnesota? Or do they go somewhere else? Well, they go to Italy. Some years ago, Nic discovered Roberto Villa (Blackpool Professional Ballroom Finalist 2006-2009) and decided he wanted to dance like him. Through research and a connection, Nic and Neli were able to get a lesson with him in the U.S. last year. They told him they wanted to receive coaching from him, but he lives in Italy and only rarely travels to the U.S....he just happened to be there that one time. They said they would come to Italy and found themselves booking a flight. Now they go about every other month, but also send videos to him to look over. They said one of the challenges they have is securing time with him. What they're looking for is a dedicated coach who will guide them long term. Right now, they aren't sure they've convinced Roberto to take them on as permanent students, but things seem to be going well. They mentioned they've seen him simply turn people away ("No, I don't want to teach you.") and he hasn't done that to them yet. He's a world finalist and doesn't need them as students by any means.

I thought that was pretty amazing: first, the fact that they're going to Italy, and second, that they managed to get a prominent person like Roberto to coach them. But what fascinated me most was the parallelism between Nic and I: how we both had an ultimate goal, we managed to serendipitously meet the people we needed (for me it was Ibrahim and Maja), and we did crazy things in order to reach our goals of becoming great dancers (he flies to Italy, I moved to Arizona). To me, this indicates an inner, inexplicable drive. Something is pushing us in our directions. Yet our "holy grails," the ultimate skills/knowledge we wanted to obtain, are vastly different. He wants to dance like Roberto and I want the knowledge of the historical "greats" of ballroom. We both believe our ways are the best ways to get to the top (or at least our personal top). But if his opportunities came along for me today, I would find them significantly less meaningful and wouldn't recognize them as opportunity at all. I have no interest in Roberto Villa and I doubt Nic has any interest in ballroom history or the theories of Bill Irvine or Benny Tolmeijer. It's interesting how an event can come across as a divine happening to one person while the next person over barely recognizes anything special; someone's holy grail - the thing that moves his life and gives him purpose - is only an interesting-looking cup to me.