Since I've moved to Tucson, I've had an entire shift in the approach to my future. At first, the most important thing was to have convenient and (relatively) inexpensive lessons from a teacher I admired. The job and other details then would fall into place. This would have happened except for one thing: I decided I was unwilling to spend my life/time working a draining job. I couldn't handle the thought of faking through another interview. I also realized that my options for teaching dance right now did not appeal to me, so I scratched that plan.
Because of these two decisions, I've chosen to put dancing on hold indefinitely. I'm learning that there are things that are more important to me, and finding a way to earn money in an enjoyable way has taken top priority. That means dancing must wait. It has taken me two months to make this decision. I've questioned and examined my values repeatedly. I've also experienced feeling like a failure on a daily basis for weeks at a time - for moving in order to accomplish a goal...and then I change direction. Sometimes I feel guilty, too, because I have other interests that I want to pursue. Weird, right? Weird that I'm allowing myself to enjoy things that I loved doing before I started dancing? Weird that I'm actually thinking about trying something different like rock climbing or kickboxing? Weird that I'm finally writing that book I've been thinking about for the last two years?
Anyway, my life is coming together. Opportunities and new paths - for a career and for fun - have come my way and I'm excited to try them out. Not to leave a cliff-hanger, but I won't write about them in this post. Just know that I am not dancing (so please don't ask how it's going), but I am doing well.
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